Sorry for the incomprehensible post. I'm fat.

Since we moved in, Pablo and I have been consuming pizza and beer like champs. Four slices a pop, three nights a week. MOO. 

Last week, as I scarfed down some more of the thin-crust, a single crumb seceded from the dough and hurled itself onto the keyboard of my laptop. It was a small crumb, but a sly one at that, lodging itself between the "t" and "5" keys before I could shoo it away. And then, just like that!, the crumby bit shimmied its way down beneath the keys, nestling underneath the "t". 

Immediately I felt its presence. Once clicky and snappy and fresh, the "t" was now squishy and stubborn, restricted by the errant crumb.

I pushed down repeatedly on the "t", my frustration gaining. "No!" it said defiantly. "Can't make me!" The crumb was not budging.

I pressed harder. The militant crumb laughed uproariously and punched back, reminding me that none of this would have happened if I hadn't been so fat as to reach for the fourth slice of pizza. 

"BEAST!" it heckled, though it came out more like "BEAS!", the silence of the missing "t" speaking volumes. A vision of Annie Wilkes flashed before me, scolding my gluttonous behavior. I am Paul Sheldon, incapacitated by food and struggling with a faulty key. 

Pizza crumb: 1 / Bee: 0.

Today I will purchase some keyboard cleaner and blast the nasty crumb out from under its home. I will eat only natural, organic, healthy foods, and I shall eat them in a civilized manner sans laptop on my lap. Unil hen, I am giving in o he crumb and giving my righ index finger a res. Annie Wilkes, you win. Sorry for he incomprehensible pos. I'm fa. 

Laer.

Welcome to my Misery.

Nothing like a New York pizza.