the lil bee

Goodbye

2012-02-06T13:46:00.001-05:00

This is the hardest post I've ever written. It's the post I never imagined, the thing I never dreamed would happen to me. But it has, and I've put off sharing it for as long as possible.

When I write about my daughters... their laughs, their favorite things... the words come easy, because they come from a place of love. It's fun and freeing and feels not at all like work.

This feels different. It comes from a place of emptiness, and I can only try my best to articulate what feels more unnatural than anything I've ever known. Shortly before Christmas, just a few weeks ago, Paul and I decided to end our marriage. It took me a while to say the words out loud because I didn't want to believe that they were true. I thought that if I gave it some time, it might all go away. We might go back to the way we once were.

But, people grow and people change. Sometimes forever is just for a long time.

As a mother, my respect for my children drives every decision I make, and because of this I will not share the who, what, and why of this difficult time. My marriage, even as it is ending, remains sacred to me. There are people in my life who might not understand that, but it's how I feel in my heart. I want to protect the memories of walking our dogs through Central Park, making each other laugh, finding out I was pregnant, becoming parents together, taking trips, and hugging each other after hard days at work or sleepless nights or just because. At times it is nearly impossible to keep this perspective, but I'm trying, because this love is so incredibly hard to relinquish. I am mourning the loss of growing old with my best friend. I will miss my husband forever.

Each moment I spend in this new stage of my life feels slightly less foreign than the last. But I'm painfully aware that the hardest, longest road is in many ways yet to come. Writing has always been therapeutic for me. But, this story, moving forward, is not one I can share. I need time, and my family needs time, to heal. So, I hope you'll understand when I tell you that this post is a goodbye from me to you, too. Maybe forever or just for a long time. I don't know. But I need to move on.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for the support you've given me, the thoughtful comments, the touching emails, the stories we've shared over these last four years. Your words have lifted my spirits and reminded me countless times to stay true to myself, trust my gut, and believe. Nobody goes through life unscathed, but my life is hardly one to feel sorry about, and I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have my daughters, my family, my dear friends, and my character. I'm walking forward with my head held high.

This blog has taught me that there are so many people in this world who just want to be happy, create, laugh, grow, learn, and give. Thank you so much for the time we have spent here together. I am a better person for having known you.

Sunshine on a cloudy day

2012-01-30T08:23:00.002-05:00

Just a little hello to start your Monday off on the right foot. I had kind of a tough weekend, and nothing lifts my spirits like seeing this little munchkin laugh or smile.

xo!

For anyone who's ever shopped at Tar-jay*

2012-01-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

Last week, Joslyn coined the best quote of 2012. I believe her exact words were, "I would rather get a bikini wax than eat at a Chuck E. Cheese." What can I say? The girl speaks the truth.

But, you know...

While I'm proud to say that I've never stepped foot in a Chuck E. Cheese—if I did, I would totally upgrade the experience, like: "Mother and I took the girls to an adorable little eatery today called Charles Cheddar. Have you been?"—I am all for a restaurant that has decent food and will not make you feel like a leper if your children go apeshit at the dinner table. And so, last week, Grandma Nina and I took the littles to:

"A cute little factory up in Connecticut that specializes in CHEESECAKE!"

"Remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner?" -Biggie {my girl's quoting him A LOT lately}

★

*Tar-jay {this link is for my aunt Nancy, who is undoubtedly googling "Connecticut-based dessert factories" and amassing a long list of concerns, including the unsanitary conditions of factories, as well as kid-friendly restaurants that specialize in bulgur wheat and organic poultry.}

How to bridge the Mommy/Lifestyle/Design Blogger gap

2012-01-25T09:32:00.004-05:00

"Call the crib, same number, same hood. It's all good" -Biggie

Hello! Oh, I bet your brow is furrowed right now, trying to figure out the connection between the title of this post and the striking similarity between my daughter and Notorious B.I.G. Well, here's what. Aside from Blake having a {very obvious} career as a hip-hop artist to look forward to, great photos are the cornerstone of a well-designed blog. So, with that in mind, my discussion on this topic at the Alt Design Summit consisted of me sharing the above image of Blake and her doppelgänger {hip-hoppelganger? doppelgangsta?}, and then BLASTING Biggie thru my laptop speakers while saying "Uh" periodically in that cocky, grunting sort of way.

WHAT.

Since so many of you have asked about my presentation, I thought I would share with you a few more tips on how to bridge the mommy/design/lifestyle blogger gap. What I mean by this is how to have a mommy or lifestyle blog that is aesthetically pleasing, has beautiful images, and is appealing to mommies and more. Disclaimer: I promise this will be the very last Alt-related entry for at least 352 days. Footnote to the disclaimer: if you are finding these blog-building, entrepreneurial-themed posts to be helpful, or if you just want to know what Alt is all about, search the #altsummit hashtag on Twitter, or check out any one of these great posts.

So, here we go!

1. Stay true to yourself.

2. If your blog has evolved into a mommy blog, stay true to your readers, too. {The Lil Bee has always been about my life and loves, so it feels only natural to hang onto the pop culture references, fashion, and occasional design posts that still interest me.}

3. Being a lifestyle blogger is not only OK, it's fantastic! Not everyone needs to fit neatly inside a Design or Fashion or Photography Blogger niche. Declare yourself a Lifestyle Blogger and LOVE. IT!

4. If you are a parent, blog about life, not just dirty diapers and teething tips. Your perspective on parenting is one part of your full and layered life that interests people.

5. Your blog is not Facebook. Your photos should be high quality, move the story forward, and keep the reader's attention.

6. The less posing, the less photo-editing, the better. People want honesty—crow's feet, laughter, light. My favorite photos are ones that make you feel like you walked into a room and spotted something beautiful, without anyone even hearing the camera click.

7. You don't need an expensive camera to take interesting photos. Instagram, as well as apps like Diptic, Photoshop, and Luminex are amazingly fun and easy to use.

8. Take your lead from photography blogs, like my friend Bentley's or Alt speaker Jasmine Star's, which tend to be wider {600px or more} and have clean, white backgrounds, so as not to detract from the images.

9. Everyone is busy. Save yourself some time by editing and uploading your photos once or twice a week, then writing your posts when you have a quiet moment {I like to blog on my phone while commuting or getting a pedi}.

10. Your blog is an extension of YOU, so treat it as you would a favorite outfit, heirloom, or drawing from your child.

♥

And since this blog is always a work in progress, I'd like to point out some of the blogs I turn to for inspiration, such as Rockstar Diaries, Freckle Wonder, NYC Taught Me, and Nat the Fat Rat. Hope you all got something out of this little rundown. Big thanks to Gabby for including me as a speaker. The jitters were totally worth it!

P.S. Did YOU attend Alt? Or do you have any pointers you'd like to share in the comments for fellow bloggers? Maybe you're not a blogger, but a reader with a point of view on what kinds of blogs you find most appealing? Thanks!

I'm back from Alt!

2012-01-24T09:59:00.003-05:00

Last week I went to Salt Lake City with 500 talented bloggers, entrepreneurs, artists, and friends I've known for four years but have never actually met. It was my first-ever Altitude Design Summit, and I was beyond honored to actually be a speaker!

The summit included three days of panels and keynote speakers, including Ben Silbermann, the founder of Pinterest, who blew us all away with his determination and spirit. I learned tons of invaluable tips, made some new friends, and spent an exorbitant amount of time eating cheesecake and posing in photo booths with some of my favorite gals {and guy!} People like my roomies, Amy and Natalie, an adorably pregnant Melanie of You Are My Fave, two beautiful Melissas {of Melissa Loves and Reverie Daydream fame}, and the infamous Uncle Beefy, who's wearing a look I like to call Santa Sauce.

P.S. See my white dress up above? I bought it for a DOLLAR! Nobody believes me, but look! It's really true! {Anna Sui from theOutnet.com}

On the morning of my roundtable, I was super nervous. So, like any normal girl, I stood in the mirror and took pictures of myself from every angle to ensure that there were no fatty deposits lurking in my blind spot. The photo on the left says, "I'm looking forward to eating you with a side of fava beans!" while the one on the right is all, "I nursed two babies, but hot damn is my 18-hour bra on fi-ya!"

And since I know there are a few of you who are just dying to know what the décor looked like, here are some obligatory interiors shots of the chandeliers, gold everything, and glitter. Pretty gorge.

Thanks, Alt Summit, for an amazing four days! Hope to see you again in 2013.

On my mind this Monday morning...

2012-01-23T09:19:00.004-05:00

Holocene
I'm back from Alt. Can't believe it's come and gone.
An old playlist and a brand new beginning.
There is so much to tell you. So much to declare.
But, for now, just a train ride to work.
Music on, spitting rain, and a Super Bowl on the horizon.
Go Blue! Go Giants! GO BLUE!
I met people this weekend that were everything I hoped they'd be, and some even much, much more.
People who know me in a way that is different than real-life, and more real than this life in ways, too.
Oh. Just SO. Much to say.
But, stopping.
Choking traffic, looking up to the light. Inching forward, daring our train to race.
Snow drifts, train tracks, fog horns, bass.
The energy, it's like a campus waking up after a game. Waking up or never fully falling asleep.
Laughing and dancing, yawning as the dew turns from green-white to silver to gold.
Maybe life is just St. Elmo's Fire, a blinding burst and it's gone.
If you want more life, why don't you say so?
This is vague. And annoying. I said it. So there!
But, I promise that soon I will share.
There is comfort in familiarity, but opportunity in change.
Heartbreak Warfare

Your turn.

photo: Taken yesterday on my flight back home, somewhere outside Chicago

On stage.

2012-01-20T09:04:00.008-05:00

I'm going to let you in on a not-so-well-kept secret: I have a HUGE fear of public speaking. Enormous. It's a fear that was compounded exponentially when I was given the incredible honor of interviewing with HGTV two and a half years ago and subsequently PEED my PANTS on CAMERA. {Seriously. Read the post. This is one of those rare examples where the word "literally" actually applies.}

But, you know what the great thing is about wetting yourself on television in front of a group of talented professionals?

- pause for effect -

The great thing about that is that the next time you're asked to speak in front of a group of talented professionals, you know that it can't possibly get any worse! Unless, of course, you are incontinent.

And so, on that note, I'd love to share with you this little video of my sweet girls entertaining each other last week. Big sister Devon is VERY comfortable on stage, so to speak, and little sister Blake makes for a great audience. Here's hoping I'll have some of their confidence, good attitude, and happiness this morning when I present here at Alt Summit. xo!

Update: Just realized you can't view the video on a mobile device. oof! But, you can view it on your laptop!

I'm live blogging from 30,000 feet, y'all!*

2012-01-18T16:20:00.001-05:00

Not really. I didn't feel like paying for WiFi on my flight over to Dallas this a.m. But, since I have a spare thirty minutes to kill until my connection to Salt Lake City, I thought I'd hop on my iPhone and give myself carpal tunnel for the sake of a late-day post. Hello!

The reason I'm flying to Salt Lake is to attend the Alt Design Summit, where I'm hosting a little round table on how to bridge the mommy/lifestyle/design blogger gap. This layover would be a great time to review my presentation and practice it {silently} to perfection {in my head}. However, all I can focus on is the giant piece of chicken lodged in my top right molar, and the dental floss lodged defiantly within my carry-on bag. Damn floss. OMG, Blue Ivy just rolled her little newborn eyes at me and was like, "SO not flossin', Flossie," with one hand up. Back OFF, Blue.

I've gotta go. I'm flying first class, and it's important to me that I line up IMMEDIATELY when first-class passengers are invited to board, as these moments are exceedingly rare, and I like to be seated when the steerage trudges by. Like, "Oh, you're just boarding now? You must be that economy class I've heard so much about." #clearlyanupgrade

In honor of my flights of fancy, please enjoy this trip down memory lane and I'll catch up with you soon. mwah!

photo: landing in NYC after our Miami trip

*Update: I really am live blogging from 30,000 feet, y'all! I was rushed onto the plane! I paid $9.95 for GoGo in-flight WiFi so I could finish my post! I feel futuristic! Choke on that, SOPA!

What to feed picky eaters, part 2

2012-01-17T09:04:00.003-05:00

Last week my mom forwarded me an article in the Wall Street Journal about how children eat. It was really interesting and focused on the difference between how kids process a plate vs. adults, as well as ways to persuade picky eaters. In short, it's all about presentation. Children prefer six colors and seven different meal components on their plates, are more apt to eat something that resembles a design {such as a smiley face}, and will typically go for the items at the bottom of the plate, whereas adults gravitate towards the center.

With this in mind, I've been heading into the kitchen 15 minutes before mealtime to design Devon's plates. {I just said that out loud, didn't I?} And when Devon sits down in her chair, I present everything to her the way the waiters at our favorite sushi restaurant explain each of the fishes: "Devon, look! We have cucumbers, tomatoes, avocados, broccoli, chicken, raisins, and cheese! Mmmm!"

Other tricks I employ are serving the stuff I know she's not interested in first {"DEVON! Check out this delicious plate of meatloaf!"}, alternating recipes {hard boiled eggs, scrambled eggs... chicken cutlets with lemon, chicken soup with wild rice}, adding butter and parmesan to nearly everything {green beans, pasta}, and putting a scoop of whipped cream or raspberry jelly on her yogurt to make it taste more like dessert.

Blake, on the other hand, would gladly eat from a trough filled with anything and everything—carrots, squash, crayons, paper, zucchini, Cheerios—you name it, she'll eat it, just NO t-u-r-k-e-y, not happening, no thank you, bye-bye.

Do you have any picky eaters in your home? My mom is the pickiest eater I know and often stocks the entire top shelf of her fridge with one item only—seltzer, cottage cheese, cranberry juice—it is bizarre. And my friend Lauren puts ketchup on everything, including bagels with cream cheese! I'm not picky AT ALL, though I am most definitely a creature of habit. Below are the foods I'm currently eating en masse: salads with walnuts, cranberries, and grapes... spicy vegetable udon... apples, and avocados. Yum!

P.S. What to feed picky eaters, part 1 {read the comments if you need ideas...they're great!}

11 months

2012-01-16T08:21:00.002-05:00

Hello, and happy Monday, sweet peas! It's been a long time since I've done an update on the girls' milestones, but since yesterday was Blake's 11-month birthday, I thought I'd check in with some of the girls' newest tricks. Blake is now walking while holding onto things, waves hello/goodbye, says "Mama," "Dada," and "Ba" {which I like to pretend means "bottle," but which could also mean absolutely nothing}, does a fake cough, cough, chair-dances, and claps her hands, as seen in this video. Our littlest is a *great* eater, thankfully, and loves everything we've given her so far, except for turkey. And if you've ever wondered how someone with only two front teeth can eat a full meal, well let me just state for the record that this little hillbilly eats like a champ.

Big sister Devon enjoys dancing, singing, kicking a soccer ball, doing puzzles, and drawing. She is also saying a TON of new words these last few weeks, which makes me infinitely proud. Her favorite thing to say right now is, "Noooo," but we're also getting lots of "apple," "cheese," "please," and "eat." With so many words focused around food, you'd think Little Miss would be a great eater, too—but, no. I spend more time preparing colorful dishes that resemble smiley faces and rainbows than one would ever think possible. And that's OK. If I can get Devon to eat two bites of beets and three pieces of strawberry for every helping of pinwheel pasta, then that's good enough for me.

But, perhaps the best milestones are the ones these two girls share together. Sisters now for almost a year, Devon and Blake love to play hide & seek {Blake seeks}, they love to hug and hold hands, watch cartoons {Sesame Street is now a big hit!}, and they love to make each other laugh. There are definitely moments when the other side of sisterhood comes out {hehem, sharing crayons and toys can often be a problem}, but all in all this stage has been one of happiness, laughter, curiosity, compassion, and smiles.

Here are my two favorite girls.

P.S. The girls at 6 months together, 4 months, 2.5 months, 9 weeks, and 3 weeks {my fave}.

Winter with littles

2012-01-12T10:20:00.000-05:00

Living in New York, it can be tough to find things to do when it's 20 degrees outside or freezing rain, like today. And while I make it my mission to get the girls outside every day, I had to laugh as I flipped through my photos from the last several weeks—probably 75% of them were taken indoors, in our family room or dining room, pajama-clad babies on hand. {What can I say? It's hard to photograph kiddos when they're outside/not contained. Toddler legs are speedy!}

So, here's a glimpse at some of the things we do on a day-to-day basis, outside of our music + movement class and other scheduled activities. Just the run-of-the-mill stuff that keeps things interesting, silly, and fun. We like to:

Color
Read books
Pull out every baby wipe in the container {ditto for the Kleenex box}*
Play hide-and-seek
Take walks and look in store windows
Turn on music and have dance parties
Visit friends for play dates
Ride the carousel at the mall by Grandma Nina's house
Walk the pups down the block
Help Mommy cook
Play instruments
Do puzzles, play with blocks, throw balls
Collect leaves
Draw on our crib, nose, and floor*
Play with magnets {ours make animal sounds}
Sing songs
Visit the bookstore
Help Mommy get dressed {Devon has surprisingly great taste in clothes, for a peanut. That's my girl!}

*unapproved activities

Warm and toasty thoughts

2012-01-09T09:23:00.002-05:00

This weekend was a tough one. After our furnace finally spurted out its very last breath, we were forced to move into my mom's while the 30-year-old clunker was replaced. The girls have never really slept outside their cribs, so, needless to say, there wasn't much sleep going on Friday night. To top things off, both babies caught colds over the weekend, so I was up with Blake all last night, who was coughing and nestling deep into my arm, like a cocoon.

Thankfully, we're back in our warm home this week, with hot showers and beds and heat. And in other good news, Blake is starting to wave hello, and Devon now recognizes a handful of numbers and letters—"1," "2," "3," and "O," "D," "E," and "Z," which I'm just now noticing come together to spell "doze."

Happy Monday, sleepy Monday. Did you have a good weekend?

Working girl.

2012-01-05T09:12:00.002-05:00

Twice a day on the days that I work, I walk through the gorgeous and massive Grand Central Terminal. Its crystal chandeliers and zodiac ceiling always make me feel like I'm traveling through some sort of New York City fairytale. A Virgo marching beneath the bouncing lights...

"A wooly gray scarf tucked inside a fitted coat.
Clicking heels and a quilted bag at her waist.
The doors burst open and cold air nips feverishly at her ears!
Headphones speaking in treble and bass."

Commuting is fun if you make it your downtime to think, nap, read, listen, watch, learn. Do you commute, too? Do you work? What do you do?
★

P.S. I wrote a song once, too, about champagne.

Aunt Abby comes to town

2012-01-04T08:46:00.000-05:00

Last week Aunt Abby came to visit and the four of us girls had a wonderful day. Devon and Blake got two new animal books and I got to catch up with my sister, who's in grad school and working but always makes time for her nieces. No matter how busy we get or how much time elapses between visits, there is nothing quite like spending time with the one girl in this world who appreciates airplane food and astrology and cheesy Vin Diesel movies as much as I do. It comforts me to know that Devon and Blake share that same unbreakable bond for life, too. We love you, Aunt Abby!

P.S. I love the photo of Devon and Abby on the couch, with Blake crawling around. It's like they're discussing important life lessons, like how to keep a tidy home or look slim in cheetah pants.

Spirit of giving

2012-01-03T09:00:00.006-05:00

Even before I became a mom, I knew I'd invoke a "one toy in, one toy donated" rule when the time was right. It just seems like having too much of something can be overwhelming to kids, whereas a few special toys are more likely to pique their interest. Plus, I'd rather pay a little extra for wooden instruments or a handmade doll than have our home look like a plastic knickknack explosion. {As you can see from the pics below, this goal is a work in progress.}

For Christmas, Devon and Blake got a bunch of beautiful books, stacking toys, clothes {including matching striped pajamas from Nonna and the cutest Polarn O. Pyret red rain boots from my mom!}, and arts & crafts supplies. Since we don't live in a big house, it seemed like the perfect time to gather up some toys that the girls no longer play with, to make room for the new. I found a site called Donation Town, which looks like a good option for people who live in big cities, however they don't have agencies in my neighborhood, so I'd love to know if you've used a reputable service for toy donations before. These puppies are in excellent condition, and we'd like to pass them along to a new set of curious hands or two. Two things I will not miss? The enormous plastic jumpy seat that's taken up half of our playroom since Devon was born, and something called a Singamajig, which sounds like a drunk cabaret singer when you squeeze its belly. Bah-byeeeee!

P.S. 1) excuse the low-lit photo of me and B, but I'm determined to get myself in at least a few pics with my girlies, if only so they know what Mommy looked like when they were peanuts; and 2) see that yellow and orange shopping cart on the top right? It was mine when I was a kid! What was/are your favorite toys?

Adventure 2012

2012-01-02T09:04:00.001-05:00

Happy new year, everyone! I have a few big resolutions for 2012, namely to be kinder to myself and surround myself with people who have my best interests at heart. Every time I make a resolution to give something up, I end up failing {chocolate, carbs, TV}, but when I focus on adding more good things into my life {tea, yoga, dog walks}, it feels more like an adventure than a chore. And if there's one thing I've learned from 2011, it's that life is most certainly an adventure.

So, here are a few of my favorite photos from Christmas morning—Blake's first! Devon got a huge box of crayons from Grandma Nina, and I will *never* forget the look on her face when she saw the fresh new crayons. A simple gift that made her whole day. I live for these munchkins.

P.S. On My Mind... the yellow crayon moment.

Happy holidays!

2011-12-20T11:46:00.001-05:00

Posting is going to be light around here while I take some time off to spend with family and friends. But I had to share this photo of the girls and Santa Claus from last week. Blake tugged at Santa's white beard absentmindedly, while an enthusiastic elf with a bell and a bullhorn tried to make my kids smile, to no avail. This was the ONLY photo in which Devon wasn't staring blankly at the ground in a move I like to call the "I can't see or hear you because the faded beige mall carpet is just so very interesting, MOM." Flash.

P.S. Here's a look back at our "holiday card" from last year—I cannot believe how much my girl has grown. Do you send out holiday cards?

P.P.S. Last chance to do your online holiday shopping!

Smiley faces.

2011-12-19T09:31:00.000-05:00

This past weekend Devon drew her first smiley face. Before I had a chance to save it, Blake grabbed the paper and shoved it straight into her mouth like a crumpled up piece of candy. Who knew smiles could taste so darn good?

Every day we partake in some variation of a routine that is clearly a comfort to my girls. We draw suns, hearts, and stars, and rainbows with tons of different colors—so far Devon has learned Orange and is starting to grasp Green, Red, and Yellow with some regularity, too. In the afternoon we take walks and look at the moon, eat a yummy snack, and read books. We turn on the music, dance and laugh, stomp our feet, and watch our favorite show after dinner, Little Bear. Here's a little peek at our world.

Just be.

2011-12-16T10:10:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been taking little mental vacations—a hot shower, a walk with the dogs, sneaking in a nap on the couch during the day. For a while I ignored my need to breathe deeply and unwind, because my free time seemed better spent washing dishes, doing laundry, or working. I'm learning that when I don't carve out little moments for myself, everything else begins to unravel.

One of the most relaxing and fulfilling things I can do is spend time with my family, taking photos, dancing in the living room, watching football, or all of the above. The girls do their thing, exploring little trinkets like a camera cap or hair bow. Everything is an adventure and everything is new. When I step back and look at the world through my daughters' eyes, I see past the blanket on the couch as being that thing we do to cover up Paco's dog hair, and instead I see a cozy place for Blake to play with her socks. I get over all the scratches that surround our back door, because the light around Reggie's face is pure magic and I love his honest, brown face, his loyalty. This life, it is really, really good when you let yourself live it, when you allow yourself to just be.

kelly + olive giveaway

2011-12-14T09:44:00.003-05:00

I am so excited to present today's giveaway to you. It's SO not my doing, but the timing... just a couple weeks before the holidays... makes this feel like the biggest, most special giveaway I could possibly share with you!

kelly + olive is one of the chicest design firms I have ever encountered. They're based in Chicago but have a huge online following, and I can honestly say I've been a fan of their work for a long time. What clients and fans LOVE about kelly + olive is that they work with what you already have and layer in things that perfectly suit your personality, so that your room feels less decorated, more YOU.

Their gift to one lucky Lil Bee reader will be a virtual mini moodboard, worth $350! The design package features a 5-7 page presentation, including a color consultation, collage of furniture suggestions, ideas for DIY-ing your own pieces, and suggestions for new ones—all within your specified budget. It is completely amazing. Just look at what kelly + olive did for their client, rebecca!

So, let's give one of you amazing readers a virtual mini moodboard of your own, shall we? For a chance to win, just leave your name and email address in the comment section below, and tell me the room in your house that could really use some kelly + olive love. One reader will be chosen at random next Friday to receive the virtual mini mood board. GOOD LUCK!

UPDATE: Elizabeth is the winner! Email me to claim your prize, Elizabeth. Congratulations!

The thing that keeps me going.

2011-12-13T08:46:00.000-05:00

I never had an inkling of how chaotic life could be once I was married with children. It's like trying to wrap your head around being a member of the opposite sex, or a dog, or Madonna. There are days when we wake up, get the girls ready for the babysitter's, get ourselves ready for work, and leave the house looking human. And then there are days when a favorite toy is missing and simply *must* accompany us, or days when we wake up late and another level of panic is added to the rush, or days when it seems like nothing at all can go right. It's not that these moments didn't occur before we had children or when I was single—believe me, they did—it's just that before I had kids, I could close my eyes and put on my headphones, take a bubble bath or take a walk, and know that the world was still spinning. There weren't little lives depending on me. And that's a fact that, despite being somewhat terrifying on occasion, keeps me going on even the hardest days.

Yesterday was one of those moments. It was all I could do to just get through the day, remember to eat, and come home. I didn't finish my final gift guide, I didn't meet up with my two friends for a birthday dinner, and I didn't have a chance to dive into two days' worth of laundry and little messes. But, I did get to see my mom, play with my girls, and fall asleep with Paul and the dogs by my side. And that's a comfort that can overcome any amount of chaos.

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-12-12T09:01:00.000-05:00

You Still Hurt Me
There is something so romantic about books.
Piles of reading material, stacked upon bedside tables and insulating living rooms.
With fireplaces and paintings and tea.
Tattered... loved up...
I cannot wait for this year to be over. To close the chapter on this year.
With the exception of my baby girl being born, 2011 has been really, really difficult.
Filled with the kinds of stories I'd rather use as kindling than tuck into a bookshelf for safe-keeping.
But the upside is that 2012 is just 2 and a half weeks away.
A new story and plenty of places to go.
Maybe... The Russos Move to Rye...? What will the story of 2012 be?
The guy next to me is listening to Korn. I know this because my iPod just shut off and his iPod has a big Korn album lighting up the screen.
Are Korn fans called Kornos? Korn dogs? Korn huskers? Shut up, Melisa.
Isn't it funny how people sometimes date more than one person with the same name?
I know a girl who has dated three Daves, and my uncle married two Nancies. My friend Tina dated two Anthonies, both of whom had the same birthday.
I would assume this both complicates and simplifies things.
I am not entirely certain that the pluralization of the aforementioned names is correct. Are correct?
However, Dave Matthews {Dave, Dave, Dave} sang of Dancing Nancies, so I believe my spelling is right.
Fancy, dancing Nancy.
Could I have been anyone other than me...?
Nope, I can only be me. Melisa.
Silence, train engines, something awful by Korn.
We are here.

Your turn.

Photo: here

Babies running rampant

2011-12-08T13:56:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago, Devon woke up from her nap and was in a super silly mood. Blake was being Blake, as we say {the most laid-back baby ever}, so I sat in the living room while the light was still decent and snapped a few photos of them playing. There's not much natural light in our house, enough, at least, to take constant photos. But, I've had SO many fun moments just setting the camera in one spot and watching how quickly the girls run in and out of the frame like two blurry balls of energy. This was one of those moments. Blake was content to just jump in her swing and blow bubbles, so Paco watched curiously as Devon did her thing.

P.S. See those Target boxes? It was my Missoni for Target shipment, from which I returned nearly everything but the girls' crib sheets and the little outfit Devon's wearing from her aunt Lisa. I did not like any of the other stuff! Did you?

New York state of mind

2011-12-07T13:11:00.005-05:00

Last week I had dinner with Monica and Emily, who mentioned that I have a bit of an accent. "Certain words," they explained. {You can probably guess the ones.} Then yesterday I heard the same thing from two Twitter friends who'd watched this home video. I grew up outside of the city, so my accent isn't really New York. But at the same time I don't mind a little accent. Accents are fun! Accents add character.

It got me thinking, New Yorkers are known for their accents, but what are some other characteristics about this city that make it what it is? What is the personality of this city really like? For starters...

You would *think* a simple thing like making dinner plans or meeting for a drink would be easy, but ask a New Yorker where to go and you'll undoubtedly get a list of 5-10 suggestions, based on neighborhood, cuisine, even head chef. There are SO many options that making a choice can be overwhelming. My friend Lauren keeps an excel spreadsheet of places she's been to or wants to try.
New Yorkers are big fans of delivery. Years ago, I was on the phone with my friend Steve from Chicago, who pointed out that, in the course of an hour, I'd had my laundry, wine, and dinner all delivered from separate locations. God, I miss that!
Most New Yorkers don't have any interaction with their neighbors. Aside from one other couple and a girl who lived upstairs from our old apartment, I didn't know a single neighbor in the 9 years that I lived in NYC.
New Yorkers are actually really nice! It's rare that you meet the kind of jerks you see in movies.
And speaking of movies, the way cab drivers are often depicted is a myth. They almost never turn around to face you and ask, "Where ya headed?" nor do the vacant cabs speed past people who are trying to hail them down. Cabs stop. Always.
Unless you're on 34th Street or Rockefeller Center, the sidewalks of New York are not a giant, crowded mass.
The tap water is delicious and actually good for you.

So, New Yorkers, did I miss anything? And what about you all—what are some fun characteristics about YOUR current city or hometown?

P.S. The war of the takeout menus, plus some more things I love about New York.

P.P.S. Joanna made a really cute and helpful guide to New York this summer!

GIFT GUIDE: For her...

2011-12-06T09:30:00.004-05:00

My grandma was the most difficult person to shop for, ever. Each year when we'd ask what she wanted, she'd hem and haw and eventually ask for a cardigan—one with 5,000 requirements. Grandma's cardigan needed pockets, it had to be a specific length {too short and it would make her "look boxy"; too long and it'd cut her "in half"}, it should be cotton—nothing synthetic!, and navy, white or pink {NOT mauve}.

After years of searching for the elusive cardigan, only to end up returning it for her the following week, I suggested we give her a card that read, "We bought and returned the *almost-perfect* cardigan for you, just like you wanted!" along with a gift certificate to pick out something she'd love. However, this was deemed too impersonal by my mom, who I think secretly liked the challenge of hunting down the rainbow-colored unicorn that was my grandma's sweater.

So, here's to gifts that are special, sweet, and universally appealing to your favorite quirky gal. Not a synthetic mauve in sight.

A beautiful coffee table book: Simon Doonan Eccentric Glamour, $11.99, or Suzanne Lovell's Artistic Interiors, $39.88
The prettiest, daintiest emerald ring by Jennifer Meyer, $150
Oilily Spoetnik Long Wallet, $65.99 {pretty enough to double as a clutch}
The perfect neutral bag, Steven Alan, $239
Moxi Lolly Roller Skates, $299 {maybe not for the over-40 set. maybe}
Yellow Kate Spade note cards, $20 {so your nana can send you notes the old-fashioned way}
Olive Bungalow 14k Gold Branch Ring, $130 {use code LB10 for 10% off thru December 11}
Metallic + Sequins + Stripes? Yes, please. J.Crew sweater, $120
Joya Mittens, $45, Room 6 {pair with the prettiest pink lip gloss or Max Brenner's hot chocolate for your little sis}
Marc By Marc Jacobs Colorblock Bolt Bangle, $49, and Resin Stripe Bangle, $30 {you just can't go wrong with Marc}
If she's as hard on her laptop as she is her favorite shoes... the Rebecca Minkoff Pyramid Neoprene Laptop Case, $78
Diane von Furstenberg Heart-print Earbuds, $25, or Marc by Marc Jacobs Heart-Shaped Acetate Earbuds, $40 {pair with a mix for your BFF...so fun!}
The prettiest linen/cotton Tea Towels, $24-28 each {wrap one around a tin of homemade cookies for mom}

+ check out the gift guide for kiddos and for your love!

MY toy.

2011-12-05T15:00:00.000-05:00

Since Devon first laid eyes on Blake, she has been the baby's biggest fan.

Constant kisses, nonstop hugs, and always asking me to put Blake down so she can feed her or bring her a toy.

And then there are the other moments. Ones like this...

The other day I shot an iPhone video of Blake showing off her new move—baby girl can now clap her hands!

I wasn't planning on sharing this, due to the very low quality of the video

{for which I'm pitifully overcompensating, by centering my text},

not to mention my hyena-like squeals in the background.

But, I kind of couldn't help myself when an unexpected event took place while I was recording.

Take a look...

Oh, sisters.

GIFT GUIDE: For your love...

2011-12-05T08:30:00.001-05:00

I remember the first Christmas that Paulie and I celebrated together. It had only been a month since we'd started dating, and I had no clue what to get him. After much deliberation, I framed a photo I'd taken of a dog in Ireland, because he'd commented before on how much he loved the photo, and it seemed like a gift that was personal without going overboard.

When he gave me my present, I was speechless. It was a Christmas stocking, and inside were probably ten little packages—perfume, a T-shirt with a funny saying on it, hand cream, a framed photo of Reggie when he was a puppy—all things that told me he'd been listening. It was the first time I realized that he really liked me. I will never, ever forget that feeling.

Here are a few ideas for the favorite guy or girl in your life, from a first-holiday snowflake to an old-married-couple keepsake, and lots of stuff in between. xo!

Alexandra Ferguson Love Note Pillows, $59-109
Holy Samoas! Learn how to make your own Girl Scout Cookies and other nostalgic delights!: Let's Bring Back, $19.99
Made By Cassandra Smith Painted Deer Antler Sculpture, $85 and up {all antlers are naturally shed. I love the idea of giving something so beautiful a new home}
"You are my match" message in a bottle, $6.50, and Air Plant, $29.50, by Tortoise Loves Donkey
Initial and Area Code Luggage Tags, $20 each {you could include a note saying, "Come away with me," with an itinerary for a romantic getaway or staycation!}
Pinhole Press photo book to recap a special day, a trip, or even a "best of" all your favorite photos together {psst...I'm making one for Devon and Blake!!}
Mismatched Kate Spade mugs would remind you to stop and smell the coffee together, $19 each
A scarf to keep you warm when you're apart... for her, $85, and for him, $58
Fondue? I do! Vintage pot, $7, and vintage lucite ice bucket, $28 {just add champers}
Wood Classic Snowflake Ornament, $18 {to commemorate a first holiday, first home, first bebe or furry friend!}

+ gift guide for the littles + more guides coming up this week!

How to get your children to listen to you

2011-12-02T08:27:00.006-05:00

I'd like to talk for a minute about Wednesday, because, boy was it a bang-up day! The kind of day where the stars align and everything just goes as planned. And here's why: I woke up Wednesday morning with a very CLEAR set of goals that I wanted to achieve, and I wasn't going to rest until they were checked off, one by one. To do this, I needed my children to cooperate. So I approached them and spoke carefully...

First, I sat Blake down. I looked at her doughy cheeks and big, blue eyes and said, "Child? Please stick your chunky little fists into the houseplants today. Grind your fingers into the soil, splash the water in the basin beneath the planter, and suck on your dirty hands immediately following. If there's a low-hanging leaf or vine within reach, I'd like you to grab and tug at it, sharply, until the leaf breaks off and I have to DIVE across the room to save the plant from crashing down around you. You know how happy your plant-eating, dirt-scooping routine makes Mommy every single day, so please chomp on and destroy ALL plants in this house, one by one, like a mother-effing T-Rex."

I said this to my nine-month-old with patience and with love. And, just like that, she complied.

My next goal was to make sure Devon ate only processed, non-organic foods or, more specifically, store-bought Goldfish. With this task achieved by 9:30am {gold star!}, I felt confident to approach her with a bigger challenge. "Devon?" I asked, loading on the charm. "Sweet girl, this afternoon when we're running late to Blake's doctor's appointment, I want you to smile at me in the rearview mirror... the kind of smile that says, 'Mommy? I'm about to rip. shit. UP.' ...and then I want you to take a big gulp from your sippy cup and spit water ALL over yourself. I mean really drench yourself in the stuff, so that you're not only soaking wet throughout Blake's 30-minute appointment, but visibly shivering from the chill of your midday bath. Do this, please, so that our pediatrician, two nurses, team of receptionists, and tall Norwegian couple in the waiting room can look at you and look at me and conclude that I am a horribly unfit mother who hoses down her child in 45° weather. Can you do that for Mama, pumpkin?

"OH! I almost forgot. When we get home and I bring you into the mudroom, I'm going to run back out to the car to get your sister, who will be sleeping peacefully in her carseat. As soon as you see that my hands are full with your sister, a bag, and three jackets, I'd like you to take my keys off of the mudroom bench and press the car alarm button over. and over. and over. and over. and over again, so that your sister wakes up from the sound of a thousand angry banshees and screams loud enough to break glass. Can you do that for me, pretty please? All righty then."

And, you know what, guys? My girl passed both tasks with flying colors.

So, here's to setting goals. Here's to having faith in your children... your boss, your boyfriend, your wife, a complete stranger... that they'll pull out all the stops when you really need them to perform, if only you can summon the courage to ask.

Thanksgiving and five years

2011-12-01T11:00:00.001-05:00

A week ago we hosted our very first Thanksgiving. It was a small group—just the four of us and my mom—and my mom and I cooked all of the food. Since Blake is just starting to eat table food, there were really only three adults and Devon eating dinner, but the timing of the dishes and making sure everything was served piping hot was what I found to be a challenge. My mom cooked the turkey and stuffing, and I made caramelized shallot mashed potatoes, baked squash, Brussels sprouts, and some good ol' Stovetop stuffing. What can I say? I love the stuff. {And, thankfully, I’m married to someone who is not at all picky,* since my repertoire of dishes is not very... expansive}.

We finished off the weekend with a sushi dinner to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary. Five years. It’s both flown by and felt like a lifetime, probably because we’ve known each other forever. My mom gave us a gorgeous antique wood holder, which I absolutely love. And while the weekend was decidedly low-key, Miss Devon made sure to add a little dose of drama, so as not to be outdone by Ma-MAH and Da-DEE's big day. Poor thing had an allergic reaction to something {we’re thinking raspberries? but maybe dog food? just kidding, she hates dog food!} and ended up with a HUGE fatty lip, for which we brought her into the emergency room and were given a healthy dose of Benadryl. It was so sad, but she handled it like a champ, and even managed to take an amazing photo of her robot on my phone {she had me hold the phone and then pressed the camera button when she was ready. So, obvs, she’s the next Annie Leibovitz}. Proud ma-MAH.

*Managed to snap a photo of Paul's cranberry "display" before slicing and moving it to a more appropriate serving dish. Stay classy, San Diego.

GIFT GUIDE: For the kiddos...

2011-11-30T07:52:00.020-05:00

Hello, my little dumplings! Confession time: last night I stayed up way way WAY too late, working on this year's holiday gift guides. But, I'm so excited to share the first one with you today, and I hope that the hard work was worth it. Believe it or not, this guide for littles of all ages was *really* tough to put together, because it was important to me that each item felt special... the kind of gift you'll always remember opening and have tucked away safely in your childhood bedroom.

All of the items here are things I'd be thrilled to give my daughters, and I hope they help spark ideas for the munchkins on your list, too. Are we ready? Let's go!

Poketo Vinyl Artist Wallets, $20 each {stuff with old business and credit cards for hours of entertainment, or include a special gift card for an older child}
Yellow Label Kids Knit Penguin, $36
Mari Balls, $35 each {messes wouldn't seem so *messy* with these lovely, colorful toys}
Jellycat Maypole Hobbie Horse, $33.95 {ultimate best gift ever}
Fisher Price Toy Camera, $24 {functions as a changeable picture disc viewer and comes with three discs, including Goldilocks}
Looploft Bunny Rabbit Softie, $30 {made from repurposed cable knit sweaters}
Vulli Sophie the Giraffe Teether, $17.40 {infants love to teeth on it, and they'll hang onto it as a toddler, too
Nueve Perception Puzzle, $23.95 {68 billion possible patterns; great for kids of all ages}
Hape E-Racer toy car in green and red, $19.95, {Daddy will steal these... luckily, they're buy one, get one 50% off}
Melissa & Doug Abby & Emma Magnetic Dress-Up Set {*big* hit in our house! but, beware of small parts around infants}
J.Crew Boys Vintage Camp Flannel Shirt, $39.99
Juicy Couture Charms pink snowflake, $62 {add new charms onto an heirloom piece or onto this gold charm bracelet, $34.99}
P'kolino Multi-Solution Spaceship Puzzle, $17.99
J.Crew Girls' Minnetonka Tramper Boots, $39.95 {available in sizes K1-K13—I want them in my size, too!}
Puffin Classic Books, $11.55 each {you can't go wrong... The Secret Garden, Peter Pan, The Adventures of Robin Hood...}

Stay tuned for at least two—possibly three!—more gift guides over the next week. Meantime, have a look back at some previous holiday collections. big kiss!

Lennon's list

2011-11-29T09:29:00.002-05:00

Yesterday The Guardian shared one of John Lennon's to-do lists, which will be auctioned off with a starting bid of $3,000. The list showed the mundane happenings of Lennon's life, from the marmalade he needed to buy to specific things he wanted to discuss with the cable guy. It was silly and sweet. I loved it.

Within the list was a note about a book John wanted to read, so guess what just moved to the top of my reading list? If it's good enough for John, it's good enough for me. Anything to sneak a peek into his mind.

So, tell me, do you write to-do lists? Or are you more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person? I have notebooks filled with my lists, which often include things like "shower" or "eat lunch," just so I can cross them off. Sometimes Paul sneaks things like "breathe" or "poop" onto my lists, which forces me to toss and rewrite them from scratch. {We're a mature bunch.}

P.S. My Thanksgiving Day to-do list.

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-11-28T09:22:00.000-05:00

Skinny Love
Today I am drained like Drano.
Matted hair, clinging to the grates, holding back the water with little might.
Clinging to the greats might be a better use of my time.
But, today, water...circling the drain. Tired, fogged, and clogged.
For Emma... forever ago.
I read somewhere that "Emma" from this song was a blanket name for the girl, the love, the thing you just can't get over.
There's a little Emma in all of us, in everything we give up, walk past, ponder.
My grandma once said, there is a little Santa in all of us.
We all do our part to keep the spirit, the love alive.
We are all Emma.
When I was seven, my grandma moved up north with my grandpa.
It was hard. I missed them so much that it hurt inside my chest.
My mom and I moved into a little apartment on a hill.
Our neighbors, Steven and David, were my playmates. The three of us rode bikes in the street. They taught me how to ride without training wheels.
Then one day, after school, I noticed that my bike had a dent.
It was deep, like a black-and-blue on your bicep, fresh from a shot or a punch.
David did it, he admitted it freely.
Took my bike and drove it into a tree.
I don't know why it stung so much. It was just a bike. "Get over it."
Eventually we moved. David and Steven did, too.
The yellow bike was tossed.
A decade later, I read in the paper that Steven was arrested. He'd be going away for a very, very long time.
He was crazy, and it's crazy...
...what happens to childhood friends.
What happens to you when they aren't looking.
We grow up, grow old, move away, move on.
Old wheels get dented and tossed.
Wonder where they are. In junkyards, prison yards, yards with old trucks and trash?
Further From You

Your turn.

Photos by Amber Ortolano {you can visit her etsy shop to buy prints, too}

The real Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T09:08:00.002-05:00

I don't know about you, but sometimes reading blogs can make me feel like my family is the only one that doesn't shit rainbows or do cartwheels around the Thanksgiving table. Don't get me wrong, I adore my family and our collective dysfunction, but the older I get, the more I understand why holidays can be *stressful.* Holidays, while comforting, entertaining, and delicious, also consist of figuring out who'll host, configuring the table settings just so, and at least one awkward conversation involving dating status, politics, or why so-and-so is vegan.

And so, in the spirit of being thankful—for each of the things that I share here daily, and for things unspoken yet true—here are a few of the sentiments that had me in stitches in preparation of tomorrow's big meal.

Click here to send one to a friend or family member. Or frenemy! Happy Thanksgiving to everyone here in the States and those celebrating from afar, and lots of love all around. mwah!

On my mind this Tuesday morning...

2011-11-22T10:10:00.001-05:00

Fly
Sometimes I picture myself coming up with that one great idea.
The winning one. The win. The won!
The next Instagram or spork or sliced bread.
Usually a song comes on in the background, I straighten my posture, and walk confidently on as the camera pans up to the sky.
Cue overhead shot of NYC and some thoughtful, quotable ending.
"E'erybody got a dream. What's YO dream?"
Sigh.
Also, SI. And Psi! The first Greek letter of the two-initial house that occupied the corner of my college street.
A big, yellow house. With hippies inside. Now this, that, I love.
A row full of flower beds in one small apartment. On the corner of 168th and Park.
From SU to Harlem.
A world and a-whirled away...
What's the person like who lives inside?
I bet she's silly and fun.
I bet her place has lots of mirrors and light and love and music.
The kind of music that makes Christmas lights feel like candles in a St. Louis bar.
If it weren't for Paul, our flower beds would be panes {but not pains}... just wood.
Homonyms and Hi, my name... is Mary {J}.
Oblige.
Sometimes the remake just really works better.
Hi, Elton? It's Mary. Marry? Me.
I can honestly say... that things can only get better.
I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues

Your turn.

Image by sssseahorse

Cranberry sauce and stuffing

2011-11-21T10:19:00.002-05:00

When I was ten years old, give or take, my mom took me to the Thanksgiving Parade with her weird friend, Howard. I can call him "her weird friend, Howard," because he was such a nutjob that even his friends called him How-weird. So, there we were, me, my mom, and How-weird, watching giant floats swim through the air between the buildings and the trees along Fifth Avenue. At one point, Howard disappeared, and my mom and I spent a good two hours wandering the streets of Manhattan {pre-Rudy, 1980s hustler Manhattan, you feel me?}, eating hot dogs and wanting to eat the chestnuts because they smelled so good, but opting instead for the doughy, salted pretzel doused in mustard. When we finally found Howard, he greeted us mid-thought, as if no time had passed—"...and I'd like to introduce you to my new friends...," a sentence which segued into our meeting three tourists from Kentucky, and ended with us bidding Howard and his new wolf pack adieu.

Back home, my mom cooked a turkey until the edges were black and the charred meat fell off of the bone. But, that memory exists only in my mother's head, as my recollection of the day consists entirely of street meat and Howard's quirks. Because that is how a child's mind works, you see. It's never the big stuff that gets remembered, but the tiny details... the green beans and the chipped, casserole dish. Anything strange, different or new gets pushed to the forefront, while the routine, the constants acts as filler... a featherbed of 6pm dinners and Saturday morning comic strips, plaid couches with one tiny burnt hole, the edges all frayed and crisped.

If my daughters remember anything from this Thanksgiving, Devon's third and Blake's first, may it be a belly sore from laughter, Mommy dancing to made-up songs, begging dogs, and Daddy's football game on a TV that isn't gray or blurry, but might one day seem dated... a puffed-up, giant float, swimming through a bright blue sky.

Photography: William Eggleston

Nap time + etc.

2011-11-18T15:13:00.003-05:00

Hi, sweet peas! My little babettes are sleeping, so I thought I'd check in to say hello. Here's a peek at this morning and Tuesday afternoon, when we visited the carousel and went Christmas shopping.

And, onnnnne more thing before I go...

I was asked by Gabby of Design Mom to speak at the Altitude Design Summit this January in Salt Lake City! It truly made my day, and I am so honored and excited {and panicked, but I'll be OK}. On a whim, I'd pitched an idea to Gabby for a discussion topic, and a couple months later she replied with the great news. I'm telling you, people, you never know what doors can open up if you just take a chance and go for it. So, I hope you do a little of that this weekend, too.

Big kisses and see you next Monday... on my brand new Mac.
xo, bee

P.S. Don't forget to enter this giveaway... it's a goodie!

10 things about me...

2011-11-17T10:46:00.001-05:00

Hi munchkins. Today I'm going to share with you ten things about myself that you might not know.

I can pick things up with my toes, just like a gorilla. Books, remote controls, a fork, I'm game.
I was born in Stamford, CT. My mom picked the hospital because it was the only one nearby that would do a water birth. On the day she went into labor, the birthing tub at the hospital broke, so my mom had me the old fashioned way—on a bed with lots of Demerol. Oh, the '70s.
I remember every license plate I've ever had, along with my credit cards and the social security numbers of my family members. However, anything having to do with finance scares the crap out of me.
Since high school, I've wanted my daughter's middle name to be Jane. But, somehow, the initials DJ or BJ didn't seem like such a great idea when Devon and Blake were born, so now I'm not sure what to do with the leftover name. Have a third child? Name our next puppy Jane? It seriously bothers me.
I cannot hook my own bra without bringing the clasp to the front and then shimmying it around to the back.
I associate every number and letter of the alphabet with color. The color never changes, and I often remember a person's "color," even if I've forgotten her name.
I'm related to Eli Whitney, the cotton gin inventor. Stop yawning. It's the fabric of our lives, people.
My idea of a perfect day is tailgating and going to a Giants game, then meeting friends afterwards for karaoke.
In addition to football, I love lacrosse and rugby, and I love to ski. However, I despise baseball, basketball, hockey, and pretty much every other sport, which Paulie can sadly attest to.
I am almost positive I was a dog or a cat in a past life. Animals love me.

Would you like to play, too? Leave me a comment with some things about you that most people don't know, or post them on your blog and leave us the link!

Images above: me, me, Devon, my mom and Blake.

Sleepaway camp + a Craftivore giveaway!

2011-11-16T10:35:00.006-05:00

It's my last giveaway for the month of November, and this one is so darn cute. Craftivore is a site dedicated to the DIY craft movement, showing you step by step how to make everything from striped scarves to pretty business card holders to friendship bracelets, which are totally back in a big way and which will forever remind me of Camp Sloane, circa 1988. Craftivore is giving away five tutorial craft packages. What that means, exactly, is that five of you will take home a crocheting, embroidering, knitting, or sewing kit, complete with patterns, videos, and instructional booklets. So, if you've ever wanted to pick up such a skill, but were too busy/lazy/intimidated to do so, now's your chance. Just think of all of the cute-as-pie things you could make for yourself and your friends!

To enter, leave me a comment here with your name and email address, letting me know which craft you'd like to learn. As always, feel free to tweet or FB for another entry. Five winners will be chosen at random next week. Good luck!

And the winners are... Trish, Lindsay @ Delighted Momma, Carrie {steinbeck says}, Rachel from Love a la Mode, and Dennise. Congratulations, girls! Big, crafty email com in' your way!

Back that a$$ up {also, your hard drive}

2011-11-15T08:35:00.000-05:00

Hi! No, really, hiiii! I'm SO excited to tell you that, as of today, it's been five straight days since my computer began eating its insides like some sort of robotic Hannibal Lecter, and spewing out corrupted emails, files, and photos—13,000 photos, to be exact. And I'm just so flipping EXCITED about it, can't you tell?!

Now. . .

. . .before you school me on the importance of backing up my hard drive, let me be the first to tell you that I am AWARE. See, on Macs, there's this program called Time Machine, which automatically saves an extra copy of your stuff to someplace safe and magical. And mine was not configured properly, which is code for, "Bitch, get a help desk," or "¡Eres tonto!" or "Put the lotion in the basket." So, save the lecture, mmmkay? And the Lecter. I joke because I'm heartbroken.

It's only Tuesday and already I'm fried, so feel free to cross your fingers and toes that we're able to salvage my Mac. I sure would appreciate it. Meantime, here are some mostly *cheerful* pics of our family from this week and last. Hope your day is cheerful, too.

P.S. Happy birthday to this girl, who gave birth to a little bambino last week! Christian, your mommy is a rockstar. wink!

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-11-14T09:41:00.002-05:00

Impossible.
Great song. A throwback to 2008-or-9, aka the "aughts," which is the dumbest name anyone's coined since "bling" or "Bennifer."
My forehead's looking a bit vintage lately.
I'll have to ask my doctor if Botox is right for me. Insert disclaimer.
Hey, we've all gotta face the music sometime, right, Kim Zolciak? Right, Jocelyn Wildenstein?
I'm going to be honest: there is nothing quite so bad-ass as listening to your iPod and having it shut off mid-song on a commuter train.
And speaking of commuting, would it be too much to ask that the gardening trucks {you know, the ones that drive 10mph, max, and cart debris underneath a tarp?} stay OFF the roads between the hours of 7am and, say, 8:30am?
Ditto for anyone who is not abiding by the 15mph OVER the speed limit rule that applies to rush hour traffic?
Some of us are packing diaper bags and flat-ironing our hair, and cannot be expected to leave the house five minutes earlier to account for such irritating delays.
Don't be tardy for my party, right, Kim Zolciak? Twice in one post, make it stop!
Now, there's a girl next to me watching America's Funniest Home videos on her iPhone and laughing out loud at Bob mothereffing Sagat in the truest sense of the LOL word.
Come to think of it, there is an inordinate amount of chatter on today's train.
Guy on the phone in front of me is explaining the process of canceling a missing bank card to his elderly, and apparently 95% deaf, mother.
And Barbara is very much looking forward to the French doors being completed in her upstairs master bedroom!
How 'bout shut it? How 'bout not on my watch? How 'bout shut the French doors?! Gah! Too easy.
Anyway, there's something more pressing to discuss than Sagat and traffic and the wrinkle in my pants and on my brain. And that is this...
Things always work out.
One way or another, even if the payoff isn't immediate or ever actually discernible, things always work out.
I've had to remind myself of this over and over again for the last few months, but it's real and worth sharing with you.
Fate works in strange ways. But, if you trust your gut and listen to the universe {in love, in your career, in anything}, good things *will* happen, even if the journey is a tough one.
So, the mantra for the day is this: That which feels like it is against us, is actually for us.
Do with this knowledge what you will.
And now, smitten kittens, though my iPod shut down, I will leave you with B. I. G.
Juicy

Your turn.

Photo: Sara Ospina

Two {night}

2011-11-10T10:34:00.001-05:00

Day three of no computer, and I'm starting to have a level 2 panic attack. Level 5 is when I need to wear a helmet, for my own protection and yours, so no need to worry about me just yet. As a welcome distraction, I've got a fun lunch planned today with some girls I'll name later, mainly because linking to three blogs from my iPhone will surely give me carpal tunnel, but also because being so annoyingly vague sets the stage for a fantastic Friday morning recap. {If there were a Bee-Gees song called She's Annoyingly Vay-ay-ague!, now would be a great time to play it, as nothing could sum up this moment quite like a harmonized beat.}

In the meantime, here are some more pics from baby girl's 2nd birthday. These photos were taken when papa bear came home from work, however you'll have to search long and hard to catch a glimpse of Pablito, because, as it turns out, he's even more camera shy than I am. We spent the evening trying on birthday clothes and playing with new toys, cooking {Paulie made pasta with scallops and shrimp...yum!}, and entertaining one sweet little sister, who was teething and not too happy about it. All in all, it was an amazing day.

Devon Whitney, you're two. And, oh, how much we adore you. Love you with all our hearts, Mommy, Daddy, Blake, Reggie, and Pac.

Fall favorites

2011-11-09T09:22:00.002-05:00

Fall is by far my favorite season. Living in New York my whole life, we definitely experience all four seasons, though sometimes it does feel like 45% summer, 45% winter, and the rest devoted to spring and fall. So, with one giant snowfall already behind us last month, I'm making a fall to-do list before winter takes over for good. I want to...

Go apple picking
Have a picnic
Take the dogs to off-the-leash time in Central Park
Bake a pumpkin pie from scratch
Visit the Brooklyn Flea and the Elephant's Trunk in Connecticut
Take one great family photo of the four of us and the doggies
Bring the girls to Battery Park for a walk along the water
Decorate the house with snowflakes and fairy lights {Devon would love this}

What's on your fall to-do list?

P.S. My computer officially died last night, so if you need me, I'll be rocking back and forth in a corner, Girl Interrupted style.

Two {day}

2011-11-08T10:50:00.003-05:00

Last weekend we turned the clocks back one hour. An extra hour of sleep, though the kids didn't get the memo. It's time to fall behind.

It's been two weeks since Devon turned two—a toddler, officially {at least, to me.} When Devon turned one, I felt ready, excited. But #2 came without warning, a car with no brakes, slamming into us at unimaginable speeds.

So, on the morning of her birthday, Devon called to me from her crib, rubbing her eyes, squeezing Polar Bear to her chest. She wrapped her arms around me as I carried her downstairs, she and her sister perched on opposite hips. We played, ate breakfast, opened presents, played some more, and snuck glances at one suspicious red bike. It was a full-day celebration that picked up when Daddy came home, making the day as special as possible for us four.

This first batch of photos marks the morning of Devon's birthday, and the rest from that evening will follow. There are literally hundreds more that I haven't even shared, which will live in an album marked "2". It's the closest I'll get to slowing down time, to turning the clocks back for good.

Part two of our celebration to come... plus, a look back at baby girl turning one!

Little pockets of goodness

2011-11-04T09:27:00.003-04:00

On Saturday we got hit with the East Coast snowstorm, otherwise known as Octsnowber. The babies and I were in Connecticut at a Halloween walk, when suddenly we were covered in snow—the kind of snow that is wet and miserable and comes at you angrily like a whip. So, there we were—a dino, a chicken, and their mom—racing to the car, only to find ourselves fishtailing an hour later on our slippery street. It was pretty crazy, with all our friends/family/delis/Starbucks/gyms/traffic lights dimmed out for days. But, for *once* in the history of Paul-and-Melisa-move-to-suburbia, our home did not lose power {just a two-day internet/cable outage}, for which I was majorly grateful. And then, a funny thing happened...

With no place to work or workout Sunday morning, I accepted my friend Suz's extra ticket to the New York Giants game! At first I felt strange doing something so... frivolous?... but it was the most wonderful, much needed break. You can't always sneak away for a respite like that, but I'm learning to do so in tiny increments. Singing with my girls while we color and crawl... appreciating the smiles from strangers as we walk through town... a vintage strawberry glassware collection that is slowly starting to take shape... discovering that Devon's feet have grown two whole sizes since spring {her galoshes are now waaay too small}... Blake laughing at everything Mommy says... and melting a little at the sight of Devon reaching up to grab the moon...

Hope your weekend is filled with lots of little {big} moments, too!

November giveaway!

2011-11-03T08:54:00.001-04:00

I'm really excited to share today's giveaway with you guys! It's a compilation of three amazing gifts, which means three of you will be winners. So, let's look at the pretty shops now, shall we?

The first gift comes from lil bee sponsor Corilu, whose owner, Kathy, is giving one reader a $50 gift certificate to spend on anything in her shop. Kathy makes the prettiest handcrafted silver and copper jewelry, and I am absolutely in love with her druzy rings and pendant necklaces.

Next up is my friend Vana of Le Papier Studio, who is offering a $50 gift certificate to her shop {and who just found out the sex of her baby!} Vana transforms personal silhouettes into gorgeous accessories, plates, and stationery, not to mention her handbag hooks, which keep your bag clean while you're chatting away over cocktails.

And, last but not least, we have lil bee sponsor Olive Bungalow, a handcrafted artisan jewelry line designed by owner Michele in "a studio overlooking the desert and mountain range here in Arizona." Can you even imagine?! Michele is offering one reader a $100 gift certificate to spend on anything in the shop {a word to the wise: her pebble charms and branch collection are exquisite}.

To enter the giveaway, visit the shops above and leave a comment here with your email address letting me know which pieces you like best. You can tweet/post about the giveaway, too, if you'd like, for an extra entry {just leave a second comment letting us know.} Three winners will be chosen at random and announced next Wednesday, November 9. Bonus: all shops can ship internationally. Good luck!

Update: Apologies for the delay, my pretties! Computer was down, as you probably know. Our three lucky winners are...

Jessica Leitch: Le Papier Studio gift certificate... Clara Artschwager: Olive Bungalow gift certificate...

K {Quiet Elastic}: Corilu gift certificate.

Congratulations, lovies!

Top 10 Most Watched Films of All Time*

2011-11-02T09:45:00.000-04:00

My mom and I used to have this joke that anytime the movie Titanic comes on, we're rendered helpless. It just seems to suck you in, no matter how many times you've seen it...am I right? In college, the can't-get-off-the-couch movies for my roommates and I were Father of the Bride, Swingers, and Pretty Woman—all of which remain favorites to this day, along with Good Will Hunting, Goonies, Say Anything, Can't Buy Me Love, and The Family Stone.

So, how about you? Are there any movies or TV shows that you can watch again and again and again?

P.S. One of the best movie soundtracks of all time.
P.P.S. Two classics I've STILL never seen.

*#10 = Great Expectations.

PS: You're the one

2011-11-01T11:01:00.001-04:00

Just a little love note to my dear Proenza Schouler. Like all great love stories, ours is one of inconvenience. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.*

Clothing credits from top, left to right: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

♥

*Borrowed from Miss Bradshaw, of course.

InPink Giveaway

2011-10-31T21:04:00.005-04:00

boO! It's Halloween, the land of black and orange, but tonight we're all about dressing in pink. That's because super cute jewelry site InPink.com is giving away a $40 gift certificate to two lucky lil bee readers! In Pink has *tons* of affordable pieces, like long, layered necklaces, hammered gold earrings and enormous cocktail rings, but since I'm really into stacked bracelets these days, I compiled my favorite sets here, just for you...

To enter, visit InPink.com and leave me a comment with your name and email address. Two winners will be selected on Thursday, November 3 to win a $40 gift certificate towards anything in the shop. In Pink's giveaway is open to U.S. and Canada residents only. Good luck!

This late-day post brought to you by Octsnowber and our two-day internet outage.

Update: The winners are Hilary8 and Jessyca. Congratulations, ladies! Have fun shopping. Plus, InPink is offering ALL Lil Bee readers 30% off! Just use code LILBEE30, now thru 12.31.11. {Valid on everything except sterling silver.} Thanks, InPink!

Lust for light.

2011-10-31T09:31:00.000-04:00

Thought everyone could use something a little mellow to start their day... Photos by Neil Krug, who is, hands down, my favorite photographer at the moment. An unimaginable kind of talent.

Hallowinning

2011-10-28T14:09:00.001-04:00

Helloooo, spooky spooks! We've got *quite* a few days ahead of us around here. For starters, this morning the girls and I went to our weekly Music + Movement class. Since we'd missed last week due to a couple of rotten colds, I took the advice of some friends {I blame Amy, I blame Twitter} and dressed the girls up in their Halloween costumes, knowing for sure that the rest of the kiddos would be wearing their holiday best, too.

Wrong. Wrong again, Paul.*

We were the ONLY family to dress up for Halloween, out of a group of about 15 babies and toddlers. Meet Mrs. Dinosaur and her friend, Chicken Little.

{I went as the space cadet mother from the movie Parenthood/Goonies/E.T./my bathroom mirror...you know the one.}

Our costume party continues tomorrow with a Halloween parade in Connecticut with some friends, followed by trick-or-treating Monday evening around town. With so many excuses to dress up between now and the actual holiday, I'm a little nervous that Devon might start thinking of her costume as a uniform and reject all normal forms of clothing. But, we'll cross that bridge Tuesday morning. Meantime, let's peep the five pumpkins currently residing outside our home. Can you guess who they represent?

Yo Gabba Gabba, of course! Here's a closer look...

We've got Muno, Brobee, Foofa, Plex, and Toodee, though Toodee's a bit of a stretch, since blue pumpkins are pretty hard to come by.

So, now how about YOU, punkins. Are you dressing up for Halloween or going to any parties? {P.S. Remember the lame-o apple givers from your trick-or-treating days? And don't get all uppety on me about the health benefits of apples, because I eat about five a day and am married to a teacher. Apple givers, my friend, are merely slackers who've run out of the good stuff by 6p.m. and choose to hit up their fruit and vegetable bins, as opposed to shutting off all the lights and pretending nobody is home. There is nothing more disappointing than the apple giver on Halloween, though the raisin and penny givers come in at a close second. It's like, can you mix it up or something? "Bell pepper, little monster? How 'bout an avocado? Can I interest you tiny superheroes in a handful of figs?"}

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go get a stuffed chicken and a dino up from their naps. Have a fun-filled weekend!

kiss. boo!

*Can you name that film?

For the babies, for the mama...

2011-10-27T15:46:00.003-04:00

Today is one of those lazy, rainy days. I stayed home, sick, from work and managed to spend a good chunk of my afternoon flipping around through sites, looking for fall wardrobe {and under-the-tree} inspiration. Two themes quickly emerged—prints and plush—with striped and hot pink leggings, metallic moccasins, and a schoolhouse print dress grabbing my attention immediately for the girls. As for Mama's wardrobe? Well. You know a mother never plays favorites. So, I'll just take them all.

1. Faux Fur Three Quarter Length Coat, $39.90, Zara
2. Mini Rodini Balloon Dress Red Bellini, $49.95, Style MILK
3. Wovenplay Dot Leggings in Cherry, $65, Style MILK
4. Mini Rodini Bear Sweat Dress, $68, Sweet William
5. Nadadelazos Long Sleeve Layering Top with Print, $38, Sweet William
6. Girls' Rugby-Stripe Somersault Leggings, $24.50, J.Crew
7. Polarn O. Pyret Fiesta Print Dress, $29.62 {On sale from $39.50}, Amazon
8. Hand Printed Kids Leggings in Gold on Rust, $34, Thief and Bandit Kids
9. Amiana Toddler Moccasin, $103.95, Amazon
10. Lucky Brand Enamel Medium Bangle, $47.20, Zappos.com
11. Colorblock Minimalist Mockneck Sweater, $95, J.Crew
12. Edith Platform Pump, $495, Loeffler Randall
13. Lola & Bailey Murder in the Mews NMA, $55, Style MILK
14. Blanket Fold Blouse, $204, Built By Wendy
15. Matthew Williamson Valencia Felt Dress, $542.50 {Original price $1,550}, theOutnet.com
16. Pringle of Scotland Velvet Shorts, $126.25 {Original price $505}, theOutnet.com

Best friends

2011-10-26T12:46:00.002-04:00

Throughout my life I have learned that best friends are the ones who stick by you when you need support or someone to really listen. Best friends love you unconditionally, they don't hold grudges, they forgive you quickly if you ever let them down, and they genuinely care about your feelings, no matter how silly they might seem in retrospect. Best friends are there because they want to be, not because they have to be, which is what makes them so special. Most importantly, best friends make you feel like everything is going to be OK, and they love you for being yourself.

Today one of my best friends in the whole world, Melanie, is celebrating her birthday. Melanie and I met when I was 22 and working at my first job out of college. Like every good friendship, ours began when Mel walked around the corner in our old office, singing and dancing, and I thought, "Who does that girl think she is?" I have a million stories of Melanie being that girl—in fact, she's actually the only person I've ever met who is always that girl—100% herself, no matter who she's with, never anything but honest and real. Everyone in the world should have a friend like that. Mel, I love you. Happy birthday!

♥

Do you guys have a best friend {or friends} like mine? How did you meet him or her? What makes that person the best?

Photo by Thom Fougere. Not us, but it could be and I love it.

JewelMint Giveaway!

2011-10-25T17:30:00.004-04:00

Me and my Bossa Nova hoops, c/o JewelMint

Today we have a very special giveaway from JewelMint, Kate Bosworth's members-only jewelry collection! JewelMint is giving one lucky girl a piece of jewelry designed exclusively by Kate and her stylist, Cher Coulter, such as the hoops I'm wearing above, or any of the pretties down below.

For a chance to win, please visit JewelMint and sign up to take the Style Profile quiz. It's super quick and actually very fun, with questions like "Which fashionista's look below do you most covet?" and "If you won a gift card to buy your dream outfit right off the runway, which outfit would you choose?" {I'm an Alexa Chung/Proenza Schouler kinda girl.} Then, leave a comment here with your name and email address.

For an extra entry, tweet or post about the giveaway on Facebook {leave an extra comment here for either}. One reader will be selected at random next Monday, October 31st. Good luck!

☆

P.S. JewelMint has offered a 50% discount off your first purchase with code BOCT50! Click here to activate {good thru October 31}.

Stephanie {@theschang} wins. Congratulations, Stephanie!

Weekend favorites

2011-10-24T22:59:00.001-04:00

On Friday I took Devon and Blake to a nearby farm with my friend Amy and her daughters. We saw a baby cow named Devon—can you believe?!—and practiced our animal sounds, from "Moo!" to "Baaah!" to sniff-sniffs... {baby girl's version of a pig snort}. Though we found ourselves stumped at the presence of a donkey {nobody wants to impersonate that sound, let me tell you}, the trip, overall, was a huge success, and it felt *great* to stroll through the chilly October air.

Here are some more weekend highlights...

+ more local farms

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-10-24T10:06:00.001-04:00

I've Been Loving You Too Long
I wish I played an instrument.
Mary plays flute, Zach plays drums, and I would've been a good piano player.
Or guitar.
Three lessons and half a semester of training tucked away on a dusty shelf.
Right alongside the three chapters I wrote of my novel.
They just weren't ready. I wasn't ready.
How long must you wait for it?
Interlude. Intro. Outro. Featuring. What are "Song Titles by Lauryn Hill"?
I feel shorter than usual sitting between the two guys next to me.
Shel Silverstein crouched beneath two trees.
I wish I were on a train going through Europe.
Sunflowers and horses, the bright sun and snack car, an arrival in Naples and quick ferry out.
And here I am, the only living boy in New York.
Wake. UP.
Makeup.
I think a good barometer for when you should retire is when you can no longer apply makeup on the train and still look human.
Sia. Just breathe.
Cannot get this song loud enough. Like True Romance.
Alabama and her cocktail napkin: You're so cool! ♥
You're almost here.
Almost.
One tree standing, one still asleep.
Train stopped, engine cooling, walking, we're walking, we're typing...
An Occupy Wall Street protester lost in Midtown.
Lost. Here.
Breathe Me

Your turn.

Photos by Reuben Wu

In photographs and dreams

2011-10-21T09:00:00.002-04:00

Heavens to Betsy, I am exhausted! {I am a little tired, but really that phrase just came to me and I wanted an excuse to use it :}

Yesterday was such a special day for Devon—I'll post photos, of course, next week—that we're extending the fun into today, with more presents from far-away family and probably some leftover cake. *yum!*

I was thinking last night as I followed Devon around with a camera, trying to commemorate all the highlights of her important day, that I actually find myself looking at everyday objects and scenes. . . as frames. Do you know what I mean? I visualize photos and crop them out of my surroundings, whether I have my camera on me or not. It reminds me of a time when I used to dream in Spanish, while studying for my AP exam. En las fotografías y los sueños...

So, sweet peas, I leave you with these beautiful images by Charlie Rubin. I spotted them on Ringo, Have A Banana, where I've spent FAR too much time soaking in all of author-slash-stylist Siri Thorson's posts. It's safe to say she's my new Blogette.

...and, breathe.

See you Monday, k? Have a wonderful weekend!
loveyoumeanitmwah

My favorite holidays*

2011-10-20T08:42:00.001-04:00

I remember hearing my mom say once that her favorite holiday was my birthday—as in mine, me, her daughter. It wasn't that long ago...maybe 3 or 4 years...and she simply explained, "One day you'll understand."

That *day* came on October 20, 2009, the day that Devon was born. Somehow I morphed into a bonkers-bananatown-crazy person, who gets really excited over holidays, milestones, and celebrations surrounding my little girl's life. Seeing her run with abandon, laugh and crinkle her nose, learn to patty-cake, and stamp her foot to music are better than anything else I've ever had.

So, today, in celebration of Devon's two-year birthday(!), we'll be doing baby girl's favorite things and hopefully... fingers crossed... taking a spin on her brand new... shiny red...

xo, goose!

So...lots and lots of photos and a bday itinerary to come, kittens! And, p.s., do you like my new blog design? Isn't it fancypants? IT'S SO FANCYPANTS!

*T-minus 4 short months until my other favorite holiday... {sniffle}

Nicknames

2011-10-19T10:20:00.001-04:00

I remember hearing once that a good way to figure out if a first and middle name go together is to imagine yourself shouting them from your back door. It was the barometer I used when testing and ultimately approving both Devon Whitney and Blake Adelaide. But, truth be told, it's pretty rare that my daughters' {or the dogs', or our own!} names are ever actually spoken. Each of us has about a thousand nicknames—and nicknames of nicknames—most of which would sound downright crazy if I so much as whispered them outside our home. So, instead, I thought I'd share them here with you in something of a Lil Bee Family Glossary. Starting with...

Devon: Most frequently called "Mrs. Goose" {related forms: "Goose," "Goosey Loo," "Cindy Lou Who,*" and "Little Lou"}. Aliases include "Toons," "Toonies," and "Toonie-Toon-Toons" {all bastardizations of petunia}. Occasionally referred to as "D-Dubs" in familial circles.

Blake: Already a monosyllabic name, Blake is simply "Kuh" to eldest sister Devon. Elongated versions of the moniker occur with greater frequency than the child's mother would prefer {see: "Blake-y," "Blakers," and Stop! Make it STOP!}. Efforts to correct such variations have resulted in animal- and cartoon character-inspired nicknames, such as "Gooselet," "Baby Goose," and "Scooby Doo."

Reggie: Named after former Yankee baseball player Reggie Jackson, the eldest canine goes by "Reginald," "Reg," and "Brown."

Paco: A mixed breed hailing from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico, Paco responds only to "Paqui," "Paquito," and "Jefe" {translation: boss}.

That about does it, folks. Unless you were curious about what Paulie and I call each other, too? Well. It's pretty much the default term of endearment used amongst senior citizen couples: "Hon." Not sure how it transpired, but, you know something? I think I'm going to start campaigning for a new batch of nicknames, starting with "Darlin'," which I've loved since the days when Aidan said it to Carrie on Sex and the City.

♥

So, tell me—do you have nicknames for your loved ones? Are they silly or just shortened versions of their proper names? And how about YOU? Do you have a nickname that you like or dislike {other than your favorite nickname, "Sweet pea," which I save just for you}? wink!

P.S. Picking baby names.

*Told you it was Seuss-like around here!

Sisters.

2011-10-18T09:16:00.002-04:00

There's this thing called a Boppy, which is pretty much a nursing mom's best friend. You put it on your lap under your bebe, and it acts as a cushion so your arm doesn't fall asleep (and your little one can). But, you know, these Boppies have lots of other uses, too. They can be used as pillows, for example, or to support your smallest child when her big sis is coming in for a giant, enthusiastic hug.

And, for the record? No one else around here gets full-body hugs quite like the ones bestowed upon little sister. Sibling love is just unlike any other.

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-10-17T09:40:00.002-04:00

No iPod today, no songs.
Just newspapers crinkling and the faint sound of music from someone's headphones.
Sometimes I think about moving to Rye.
The girls would get to grow up by the water and we'd all be closer to the city.
I think we could use a change of pace.
Are there an inordinate amount of people or woodland animals on the tracks right now? Why the constant horn, conductor?
I've heard that your life changes every seven years. That your skin cells turn over and you are essentially a different person.
I suppose the same would hold true in an emotional sense, no?
Seven years ago I was about to run into Paul.
In 7 years the girls will be almost 8 and 9.
Paco has a seven on his chest. Maybe because he and Reggie age seven years to our one?
Moving on...
Today I'm wearing a watch that is broken, just for show.
1:04pm all day.
Time is not important.
I hope Blake's teeth don't hurt today.
Growing pains, and growing teeth, and growing old.
Grow old along with me. What will be will be...
Seventh-inning stretch.
Lucky sevens?
Seven up.

Your turn.

Photo taken in Ravello, Italy, on our honeymoon. "That's us in 50 years," Paulie said. "That little old couple is us! :)

Dear Devon,

2011-10-14T09:04:00.002-04:00

I took this photo the other day when we were hanging out in the living room, passing the time until everyone had eaten and we could head out for the day. All of your crayons and coloring books were on the table, I'd given in to a morning cartoon, and, by the look on your face, I'm guessing you wanted another one. But, instead, we ate breakfast in the kitchen, helped each other pick out our clothes, and danced to the Rolling Stones and Coldplay before leaving home for an adventure.

We packed so many fun things into our day—two new Halloween costumes, spotting and waving at a squirrel, giving Paco a dog biscuit, and reading books with Blake before bed—and I think it meant as much to you as it did to me, because you didn't cry once when I put you into bed. You just laughed when I blew you kisses and hugged Polar Bear tight.

One week from now you'll turn two years old. I have no idea where this last year went, but moments like the millions we had on this day are the kind that I cling to as a mother. Happy, silly, nothing forced or overly planned, just my two favorite girls... just us.

I love you, baby goose.
Mommy

A different perspective

2011-10-13T09:18:00.003-04:00

After a full day of shopping + dancing + a mommy-daughter lunch, the girls and I spent yesterday afternoon playing and reading while the rain came down outside. As I flipped through the photos on my camera last night, this sequence of Blake and her *big* sister had me rolling with laughter. Helloooo, big baby!

P.S. Doesn't it look like Devon is standing on the yellow block in the second-to-last pic?!

Can we talk about...

2011-10-12T09:04:00.000-04:00

...Macushla Burke?

the muted colors,
the vintage feel,
the light.

Ridiculously gorgeous is what.

Fall wardrobe 110*

2011-10-11T10:20:00.002-04:00

Imagine having to start your wardrobe from scratch. Kind of fun, but also a little overwhelming, right? That's where I am right now. In the last two-and-a-half-years I have gained 102 pounds and finally {finally!} lost 110.* It feels great to fit back into my old clothes again, but let's face it—what was cute in 2009 doesn't necessarily work anymore, partly because my tastes have changed, and partly because clothes just don't fit the same as they did before I was pregnant... and honestly, that's OK.

I'm going to have to rebuild my wardrobe over time, but thankfully I have a bunch of gift cards and some leftover birthday money to get me started. So, here's what I've picked out so far: colorful prints, pieces I can dress up or down with my existing collection of jackets/tights/jewelry, an affordable yet trendy bag, and a starter kit of closed-toe shoes for my now size 8.5 foot. {Cause, seriously? My feet grew, too.}

1. Animal Print Top with Peter Pan Collar, $79.90, Zara
2. Hadley Sweater, $98, J.Crew
3. Hand Printed Tiger Stripe II Braided Bracelet, $14, Thief And Bandit
4. Top with Gathered Collar, $59.90, Zara
5. J.Crew Blackwatch Plaid Wool Blazer, $230, Net-A-Porter
6. Lizzie Fortunato Brass Medicine Woman Necklace, $355, Stylebop.com
7. Mini Bowling Bag, $49.90, Zara
8. Marc By Marc Jacobs Marlo Interlock Stripe Skirt, $228, Shopbop
9. IRO Victoria Chain-Paneled Silk Dress, $140 {On sale from $400}, The Outnet
10. Enamel Buckle Skinny Belt, $28, Topshop
11. No. 2 Pencil Skirt, $78 {On sale from $98}, J.Crew
12. J Brand Bette Wide Leg Trouser Jeans, $152.60, Shopbop
13. Café Trouser in Wool Herringbone, $148, J.Crew
14. TEXTILE Elizabeth and James Neville Flare Jeans, $195, Shopbop
15. Kelsi Dagger Jordi Leopard Flats, $89, Piperlime
16. Sam Edelman Wilma Wedge Booties, $130, Shopbop
17. Unmixed Black Loafers, $109, Nine West
18. Seychelles Clue Mustard Heel, $130, Zappos.com

♥

What do you think? Is it a good mix? Any glaring omissions? What would YOU buy if you had to start your closet from scratch?

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-10-10T09:51:00.001-04:00

Say Goodbye
Today feels very exciting. I'm not sure why.
Sort of like that feeling you have when spring arrives and everyone goes out for happy hour after work.
Or when you're taking a vacation and you're almost there, just a taxi ride away from the hotel.
Every day, thousands of commuters look out these train windows at boring building backs and littered lawns.
Wouldn't it be neat if someone could figure out a way to project the morning news or a movie onto the backdrop?
Find a way to make the motion of the train trigger a motion picture?
I bet we're not too far off from that occurring.
I bet my friend Dennis will invent it.
I'd like for everyone reading this to chime in if someone on their elevator ride up to work this morning says: "Looks like we hopped on the local!"
In fact, I'd like everyone reading this today to say 'hello' {if you want! no pressure! just a blog!}
I'm not a math girl, but most days I think only 1% of you chime in. I want to hear more from ALL of you. HELLOOOOOoooo, pretties, hello!
Flashing back to elementary school, when Mr. Troy told me to stop showing off and let the other kids have a chance to "chime in."
It was 4th grade science class and he asked an easy question; how was I supposed to know you shouldn't raise your hand to participate more than once per class?
Well. I sure showed him. That was one of the last times I ever raised my hand in class, including all through college.
A decade or so later, Troy was let go, following an incident in which he set his tie on fire while teaching the class about bunsen burner safety.
You know... sometimes I do feel bad for children like my girls, who will never know the same freedoms as their parents.
Simple things like riding our bikes into town or roaming around after school until dinnertime.
It's just not the same world anymore. The light pierced into our comfortable cocoon, and now we all keep our loved ones close to the nest.
How my friends and I could ever have broken into my old apartment...
...and the lady downstairs, getting out of the shower, who jumped at the sight of us and called the landlord.
We were only eleven. This is where we used to live...
And then there was that day in June, when we looted the Girl Scout house and sat outside eating Thin Mints and Samoas, just because we could.
Those were not very nice things to do, Melisa.
The leaves are a rusty orange. Melisa.
Sometimes, though rarely, I actually feel like my name is the right one for me.
Did You Ever Look So Nice?

Your turn.

Image: Ainsley by Neil Krug

Little updates

2011-10-07T13:11:00.004-04:00

Our day so far...

Dancing to Fleetwood Mac + Cat Stevens.
Eating apples + chicken + banana... and pureed pears with mango.
A bubble machine + basketballs at music + movement class.
A walk with Grandma Nina.

Our week so far...

My littlest goose, forever smiling.
Baby steps at potty training.
Deep thoughts + a makeshift bucket.

★

And I just want to say, thank you so much for reading and for your sweet and thoughtful comments. Not a day goes by that I don't read every one, and I thank my lucky stars for this magical little world dot com we all hang out in. {I hang out at this place a lot, too. Do you?} Have a wonderful weekend!

P.S. Devon's green hoodie? You may recognize it from 17 months old and 13 months, too. Pretty sure she'll still be wearing it when she heads off to her first year of college.

Photos taken via Instagram.

On being you.

2011-10-06T11:33:00.008-04:00

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." -Steve Jobs

Ever notice how the good ones seem to leave this world too soon? Well-known visionaries and musicians, yes, of course, but also those we may have known personally. It's as if some people fulfill their life's purpose ahead of time... and if they fly any higher they might touch the sun. Or figure out all of life's secrets. Do you see it, too? Do you know what I mean? Some people, they're just too good.

We all know the importance of being ourselves, but I wonder how many of us actually are. How many people live unencumbered by fear or regrets, unfazed by what others think? Who really puts in the work to make their dreams a reality?

Just some food for thought on this busy fall day. But I'm curious, are you always you?

-Typed on the train via my iPhone ;)

Image via Usually Fine

Stone Barns Harvest Fest, part 2

2011-10-05T13:49:00.003-04:00

Sometimes Paul and I run out of ideas of things to do with the kids... things that don't involve other kids and scorching heat or fluorescent lighting and activity mats. We love to be outside, which is why we both adore fall—scarf weather, I like to say. Every day feels more alive than the last, and the sun is at its prettiest and goldest.

Last Saturday's Harvest Fest in Tarrytown, New York, felt like fall was officially here. Everyone seemed happy {even those waiting on line}, and there was no shortage of delicious things to eat and see and do.

When Big Daddy Kane {hehem, Paulie} was done eating hot dogs and burgers and pickles {nothing new}, the girls and I dragged him to the hill nearby, where some turkeys put on *quite* a performance.

Come along...

All the turkeys were gathered on one side of the fence. Devon wasn't quite sure what to make of the little creatures at first.

But, soon, one brazen bird stuck his head through the fence, making Devon laugh so hard she cackled.

Upon regaining her composure, Devon lifted her finger and scolded the sassy bird: "No, no, no!" When he gobbled, she barked back like a dog.

We stayed at the festival until 4 o'clock, taking in all the wonders of autumn...

the happiness...
warmth...

bright sunshine and leaves...

...the kind of day you live to repeat.

♥

I hope you've enjoyed our country adventure. You can check out part 1 here, too, if you'd like. Big thanks to Erin for inviting us. You did an excellent job!

Devon's dress c/o Polarn O. Pyret; originally featured here

Stone Barns Harvest Fest, part 1

2011-10-04T10:20:00.006-04:00

On Saturday Paul and I took the girls to Stone Barns' annual Harvest Fest. My little squirrels sat contentedly in their stroller as we walked up and down the rows of vendors, sampling organic food, drinking local beers, and ogling Balthazar breads. There were just so many things to see, and I think the girls were mesmerized by the abundance of bright green plants and colorful veggies. Here were some of our favorite things...

The entrance to the farm is exquisite, with the huge Stone Barns and Blue Hill restaurant, an antique tractor, and quaint little signs showing the way.

Two of the girls in the photo below had just woken up from a snooze. The third girl was desperately seeking ~~susan~~ some coffee.

Paul braved the long lines to get a burger and a turkey dog, plus two beers from our friend's micro-brewery...

...while I walked with Devon and Blake to look at the colors and signs.

Devon was shy at first, but eventually took a turn at milking the plastic cow {not a typo}. It was a big hit, and we celebrated with a cup of yummy milk from a local organic farm.

We finished our tour of the food tents and trucks, then climbed the hill back up to Daddy so we could visit the farm animals together.

Coming up: part 2 of our Harvest Fest adventure...Devon's meets a turkey!

P.S. D and B's dresses + D's galoshes c/o Polarn O. Pyret. Plus, another PO.P plaid dress that is equally adorbs.

P.P.S. A flashback to Devon wearing Blake's dress at the *exact* same age—seven-and-a-half months!

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-10-03T09:46:00.001-04:00

Emotional Rescue
Whew! Cautcha, train.
So nice of the guy next to me to let me sit.
I'm guessing the guy across from me, whose knees are three centimeters from mine, feels differently.
He looks like Andre the Giant mixed with Marlon Brando.
Remember that ass-hat of a movie, The Island of Dr. Moreau, where Brando made people-animal mutants?
Focus, Melisa. You will not spend the next hour of your life imagining what you'd look like as part unicorn.
Moving on... to White Plains, actually.
This song is like creamy hot chocolate and a roaring fireplace. So it's storming on the lake...
Remember how much fun we had growing up, going to Candlewood Lake?
Wave runners and jet skis. I miss water sports.
I miss pre-fab cheeseburgers and ice cream sundaes after chorus concerts, too.
I do not miss Indian Sprints.
I'm just going to throw this out there: Marie Claire *might* want to consider a feature on the contents of my bag. Here's a VIP preview...
Metallic Prada wallet... Hold on! Andre's ass is in my face. Three thousand. Getting off. "This is White Plains..."
Prada schmata. Next up inside my bag is a 4-year-old glittery Sephora makeup pouch with a busted zipper and smushed-up eyeliner along the inside.
Adding to the chic factor are three of B's teething rings, a Fage yogurt, one rapidly browning banana, a busted-but-not-broken Nano, two pens, SIX lip glosses, keys, two broken hoodrat earrings, and 45 receipts.
Don't judge. Buy the magazine.
Giants, you did good last night. {I bet Andre would concur.}
Today? It's going to be a good one.
Say it three times and you might believe it.
No eruptions, or interruptions, or interjections, or iterations, of inter or uption, or up yours or his.
Just Ohmmmm, Oh My God, I sure do love water, and bronzer for a rested glow.
Stay the course or forge your own, one short life, so make it count.
Don't ever change for anyone, because *you* are the greatest gift.
Me? Yeah, you. Jake Ryan said...
...happy sweet sixteen.
Half of my heart

Your turn.

Image by Peter Lindbergh for Harper's Bazaar via i love love

Under water

2011-09-30T10:45:00.002-04:00

I have been a very bad blogger lately and I feel like I owe you an explanation. These last two weeks have been really tough. Life is moving so quickly and sometimes I feel like I'm buried under mounds of work and laundry and, more importantly, stuff that comes out of left field. There's just a lot going on. This morning I woke up and could tell it was late in the day. The sun was beating in through my windows and Paulie wasn't in bed. I heard Devon's little feet pound the floor just as Paco jumped up and surprised me. It was 10:20am and my whole family let me sleep in. Sometimes you just need that. We're both off today, so we'll get to spend three full days with the girls and the dogs. And I'll even see my girlfriends tomorrow night for Book Club {despite having never gotten around to buying the book}. Next week is a new week and I know things will start to return to normal. Being with my family and friends is what I need right now.I hope you have a nice weekend and get to be with your favorite people, too. ♥

Image by my friend, Bentley Waters

er

2011-09-28T15:47:00.001-04:00

Today I experienced my first emergency room visit as a parent and it was pretty scary. Devon and I were dancing and hanging out in the living room, and as I reached around to hug her I heard a "pop!" somewhere in the vicinity of her arm. For the next hour she clung to me and wouldn't let go, and it was clear something was wrong with her left arm. My sister-in-law rushed over to stay with Blake, and Paul met me at the emergency room, where, thankfully, the doctor said it was a case of "nursemaid's elbow"—a dislocated elbow, which is very common among toddlers—and popped it back into place. Within five minutes, Devon was acting as if nothing had happened and was far too fascinated with her hospital-issue coloring books and crayons to shed any more tears. I'm just so thankful she's OK.

Thank goodness for cupcakes, cupcake t-shirts, balloons that look like cupcakes, and doctors.

On my mind this Tuesday morning...

2011-09-27T09:55:00.001-04:00

Green Eyes
I need to hear this song right now.
Are Gwyneth's eyes green?
So much on my mind today, and yet so little.
The word 'ambivalence' must somehow apply.
My grandpa once said that, in the end, all that matters is how you treated people.
Not your job, not how big your house was, just how kind you were.
God, he gave the best advice.
I wonder if one day, far from now, we all get to find out everything.
Like who shot JFK and how Stonehenge was built.
All of the secrets and hidden truths.
That would be something, wouldn't it?
And the Warehouse...
This song will forever remind me of visiting SUNY Albany with my best friend, Jackie... watching Dave Matthews together and letting the crowd-surfer drop right in front of us onto the floor. woops.
Oh, college.
Jim Belushi and his Animal House sweatshirt said it all.
Said more than I'm saying in thirty-one minutes on a train.
Hello, Grand Central, I need to wrap this up.
How does one wrap up a box of rain?
Is it something that just can't be held? Is that what this song's all about?
This is all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago...
Maybe one day I'll hear from Jerry, himself.
Secrets and hidden truths.
And how grateful I would be.
Box of Rain

Your turn.

Images by nolitawanders...I am just so in love

Silly time.

2011-09-26T08:57:00.001-04:00

Today I have an unforeseen day off from work. Which can mean only three things:

We'll be dancing to John Mayer and The Beatles in our living room
There's a playground and a soccer ball calling our names
Two little munchkins may come home with new shoes and fall jackets and an ice cream cone {or two!}

Hope you had a wonderful weekend. We'll see you again soon...

On Devon: Children's Place top + Carter's leggings; Blake's shirt c/o Polarn O. Pyret

Little explorers

2011-09-23T08:21:00.001-04:00

Oh, kittens. What a week! So many fun things happened, but what stands out most is watching Devon and Blake learn new things. Sometimes they stare so intently that I can actually see them soaking it all in. Someone once told me that children will learn at their own pace, and I love the idea of both of them being little explorers.

This weekend we have a friend's wedding, but beyond that I'm looking forward to just relaxing and catching up on sleep. When life gets super busy, I tend to cut back on sleep first, and this week I got about 4-5 hours per night. On the plus side, I've gotten quite good at doing blog posts from my iPhone on the train. Oh!—and The Lil Bee's new-and-improved layout is *finally* being unveiled, bit by bit, next week. Let me know if you like it.

Before I go, I want to invite you to a fun event next Saturday. Blue Hill at Stone Barns is an insanely popular restaurant/farm about 45 minutes north of New York City. On October 1st, they're having their annual Harvest Fest, a *huge* farmer's market with tons of local shops and breweries, live music, and, of course, the animals. I've been to Blue Hill for lunch a couple times with friends, and I can honestly tell you that the property is gorgeous and the food is amazing. So... if you're in the New York area, you should take a field trip! We can take a photo together by the hogs or something;) Tickets are available here.

mwah!

Top four photos by me {more here}; pigs by Roberto Falck via Stone Barns

Kitchen traditions

2011-09-21T09:30:00.002-04:00

How sweet is this little cutie helping out in the kitchen? The soft light takes me back to my own childhood, of afternoons spent toasting ham-and-cheese melts after soccer practice and mornings eating Shredded Wheat and sliced banana with my grandpa.

I love those days when you can have breakfast at your own pace, drink coffee in a giant mug, and read the newspaper. Or listen to the birds. Those days don't happen much anymore, but I've started a routine of Greek yogurt, sliced banana, and coffee for breakfast, which I eat five days a week whether I'm at work or in my own kitchen. It puts a smile on my face when I'm miles from home, a lifetime away from childhood.

Do you have a kitchen tradition? What is it?

Beautiful photos by Toyokazu

A happy {birth}day.

2011-09-21T08:49:00.001-04:00

Devon loves the Happy Birthday song. Whenever someone sings it, she lights up like a thousand candles and smiles, like she knows it's all for her.

Last Friday Devon was playing in her room while my friend Jess and I picked out outfits and Blake practiced planking. Suddenly, this quiet baby voice floated up from the bedroom floor, singing as clear as day: "Happy birt-day to you..."

I froze and furrowed my brow. Before I could speak, Jess jumped in with, "Did she just sing Happy Birthday? She just sang Happy Birthday! And on key, too!"

It was amazing. Baby Girl, inventor of the Master A Word, Then Drop It Forever academy of arts and sciences is s-i-n-g-i-n-g-SINGING! I could not be any prouder.

. . . but?

. . . but.

As soon as Devon saw how excited we were over her pint-sized debut, she flashed an impish grin and hid behind my legs. Immediately she returned to her routine of head shakes, points, and monosyllabic words. Almost like she realized we'd just witnessed her dress rehearsal and she wasn't quite ready for a performance. Still, I heard it—Jess heard it!—and we've been singing Devon's song nonchalantly ever since, in hopes that she'll chime in once again when she thinks nobody is listening.

Next month baby girl turns two. As much as I can't wait to have full conversations with her and sing our favorite songs, I'm in no rush to see her grow up. Devon Whitney, my little songbird, your secret is safe with me.

Pics from my birthday over Labor Day weekend

P.S. Devon's dress is c/o Polarn O. Pyret; Blake's pajamas are Carter's.

Girrrrl talk

2011-09-20T09:30:00.002-04:00

You know those friends who you can go months without talking to, years without seeing, and pick up right where you left off? That's how it is with my friend Jess. She flew in for our friend Jackie's baby shower last weekend in Brooklyn, and she stayed with us and met my little girls. Jackie, Jess, and I were roommates in college. Some of my favorite memories in the world are with these two. We have giggle fits together and have known each other half a lifetime. Doesn't get much better than that.

I gave Jackie a baby clothesline with lots of little onesies and jammies and toys attached—it's my signature baby gift, next to the urban jungle diaper cake, of course;) And I won a bottle of Cupcake wine for finishing my Baby Word Search before anyone else! Because I'm a word nerd and cause Brooklyn, we go HARD.

Afterwards we went to NYC's romantic Campbell Apartment for a drink.

OH! And speaking of babies, I *finally* got the Julian Louie x Aldo booties I've been coveting all summer! I mean, talk about s#it or get off the pot. If there was a word for the anti-impulse purchase, I would insert it right here. But, see the booties? They're right there, underneath my weirdly posed arm and the antique safe/houseplant sculpture in my upstairs hallway. As if you don't have an antique safe/houseplant sculpture in your home. Please.

Just kidding! I would never deprive you of a close-up.

It's OK to stare. I mean, I am and I own them, so I totally get it.

smooches!

Milk + Bookies

2011-09-19T09:00:00.010-04:00

One of my favorite things growing up was reading books, especially the Nancy Drew series, the Stupids, and Choose Your Own Adventure books {remember those?}. I loved Charlotte's Web and James and the Giant Peach, and I couldn't get enough of Pierre—such a naughty little boy!

It'll be a while before Devon and Blake are actually reading, but they love having stories read to them right now. Devon picks out her favorites and climbs onto my lap with a huge smile, and Blake loves books so much she eats them.

In that vein, I wanted to share with you a great organization called Milk + Bookies, which provides books to children who don't normally have access to them. They do this through monetary donations and events where children purchase a new book, inscribe a special note to their peers, and discover how good it feels to give back. Milk + Bookies even has donation kits, so children can mail new books to their fellow budding readers—such a sweet idea for a birthday party or book drive!

In honor of Milk + Bookies, you'll see lots of other bloggers' favorite books posted around the blogosphere today, too. It's our way of bringing attention to a great cause, and hopefully helping to instill a love of reading in lots more little kids.

So, tell me, what are your favorite children's books, past or present? Feel free to post them in the comments here or on your own blog, or tweet away {#milkandbookies}!

P.S.: I'm in love with all of the Milk + Bookies Day posts! Here they are so far, and I will try to add to this list as more are posted: Nat the Fat Rat, The Beauty File, Raising Colorado, Pancakes and French Fries, Cup of Jo, Abbey Goes Design Scouting, Simply Grove, The Littlest, and English Muse!

Mama!

2011-09-16T09:00:00.001-04:00

Happy Friday, sweet peas!

This week has been sososooo busy... with work, with activities and birthday parties for our friends' kiddos... and I am really looking forward to this weekend. For starters, my friend Jessica, who I've known since sophomore year of college, is here visiting from Texas. And Blake had a surprise for me—on Thursday she said "mama" for the first time, and has been saying it every day since! Her first word, and I am beaming, of course.

Are you up to anything fun this weekend? I really hope to finish up some fun posts for you on Sunday. Lots of photo editing on the agenda, and a couple *special shoots* featuring Miss Devon and her takes on Fashion Week, comin' up just for you. Any special requests? We were quite interested in the citrus hues, you know.

mwah!

PS: photos taken with Instagram.
P.P.S.: you might remember Blake's dress from here. I made it!

If...

2011-09-15T09:32:00.006-04:00

Lately I've been making an effort to do more adventurous things with Devon and Blake. On the days when I'm not working, my goal is to feed everyone breakfast and get out of the house by 10:30am, even if it means putting the girls in the car and driving without fully having a plan.

With that in mind, yesterday we headed into the city for a fun lunch with Emily, and last week we visited a children's art museum in upstate New York with Bentley and her boys. At the children's museum, there's a drawing room where kids can color, along with a watercolor exhibit and excerpts from the book If... by Sarah Perry. It's all about what it would be like IF we used our imagination {such as, What if... zebras had stars and stripes, or caterpillars were toothpaste!}.

When I saw the exhibit, I couldn't believe it. I'd done an art project in college where we had to deconstruct and re-imagine a book, and I'd picked If...! It is SUCH a cute book for kids of all ages, and I highly recommend it. Here are some photos from our time there, along with a few from yesterday morning when Little Miss decided to play dress up. {Please excuse the quality of some of the iPhone pics!}

P.S. I think my "if" would be "If people had wings," because I'm almost always flying in my dreams, and then I wake up disappointed. What would your "if" be?

Book link: If... on Amazon

Dear America,

2011-09-13T09:04:00.000-04:00

Most of the time online shopping gets me into trouble, but last night it led me to a gallery of gorgeous images on Zara's new online shop. Fifty photos by fifty photographers, especially curated to celebrate the brand's US launch.

Dear America via Zara

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-09-12T11:11:00.000-04:00

Stars
Forty minutes to jot this down. Forty minutes till I reach the station.
Is anyone else on this train thinking what I'm thinking?
JUST get me there.
I ... I can't write today.
And this has been a theme for some time.
I stop to think and get it all out, but it's all just thick and cloudy.
Blocked. Bleak. Black. Blah.
Do meat cutters get Butcher's Block? Bah!
But I feel OK, I'm doing fine. I just need to dig it all out.
Clean out my closets and clear out my head. Purge the stained and the pilly.
The patterns on my ceiling have been prettier at night.
More lace and snowflakes; not sure why.
But they're easier to look at when I cannot sleep.
Even the sheets feel better in fall.
This stop looks like a Denzel film.
Bright sunshine creeping up and around the brick buildings.
Glaring down on the platform and the cars, and the steely trash cans below.
Squinting passengers wait for the train, street lights indistinguishable in the sun.
Somewhere I bet Glenn Frey is playing a saxophone. You belong to the city.
And the platform divides the space between the sky and the street below.
Where are all the Fraggles and the Doozers with their helmets, constructing underground?
Beneath the world, below the place where the man and his floppy dog reside.
What's underneath the Doozers and their scaffolding?
What's up above that gray dog?
Little layers of world and wonder.
It gets interesting when they blend.
Overexposed, flickering dust, sunshine pouring through.
Come on keep me where the light is.
Gravity

Your turn.

Images by Fake Yoga

Make a wish.

2011-09-09T08:50:00.000-04:00

I've had a loooong week, kittens. And I'm happy to have a few days off to unwind. Someone told me last week that I need some more silly in my life. And, well, here's to silly:)

Fall prints from Juicy at a Lucky/Lord & Taylor Fashion Week breakfast {I'd layer this dress and cardi together}

Over-accessorizing is her favorite thing to do.

A new sewing machine from Paulie and the girls!

And, speaking of crafty, check out Paulie's "bottle holder."

Baby Blake is working on her crawl!

Wishes on my birthday.

♥

#FNO {Eff, no!}

2011-09-08T08:20:00.002-04:00

I'm going to need to speak to someone about all this rain. If this were any other form of relentless badgering—say, a telemarketer who phoned daily or a neighbor who blasted Rob Thomas—I'd be able to report and remedy the situation. I could ask to speak with Rain's supervisor or The Person in Charge of Flooding. But, this rain cannot be righted with a strongly worded letter. And it shows NO signs of stopping.

Selfish jerk.

Still, I've got a fun breakfast this morning, and tonight I'm meeting up with this cutie pie for some Fashion's Night Out celebrations. I tend to avoid after-work events, in favor of quiet dinners at home, but the ones we're visiting seem worth the extra effort. First up, a DIY party at Madewell, then hopefully we'll make it over to Kirna Zabete and then Aldo to check out the Christian Cota and limited-edition Julian Louie collaborations. .♥. In lieu of rain boots, I'll be the girl clad oh-so-inappropriately in open-toe heels and clutching a threadbare umbrella. "Purchase sexy rain gear that makes you look tall and thin" was on my to-do list, but somehow life got in the way.

Above: a few things that I'd like to be wearing, starting with... Lizzie Fortunato Bangles; See by Chloé Cardigan; Levi's Made & Crafted Jeans {or these J Brand trousers}; Loeffler Randall x Suno Estrella Wedges

Cutest gift for houseguests

2011-09-07T15:15:00.000-04:00

My family has had a tradition for as long as I can remember: whenever a guest comes to stay at our house, we leave a little gift on his or her pillow. The gift can be as simple as handmade soaps or warm, fuzzy socks for sitting by the fireplace—just something to make them feel at home.

Melanie Blodgett of You Are My Fave welcomes her house guests with this homemade snack kit by the bed...

Thanks, Mel. My inner homemaker will be recovering from this whiplash of an ego blow by stocking up on locally grown root vegetables, DIY-ing friendship bracelets for every shop owner on etsy, and buying out the Marc Jacobs Fall 2011 collection.

For more examples of Melanie's superhuman crafting capabilities, visit You Are My Fave today.

Our first babysitter, ever.

2011-09-07T09:39:00.000-04:00

Today is a hard day. I don't want to be a baby or anything, but it's the first day our girls are being watched by a sitter. For the last 22 months we've been lucky to have family members watch Devon, and then Devon and Blake, while Paul and I worked. But work schedules change and life throws you loops, so now here we are—our first sitter.

My long-term wish is that Marguerita becomes not only a babysitter but a member of our family, someone Devon and Blake both adore. From time to time, there will be one or two other children under Marguerita's care, so my girls will have playmates for the day. Today, at the drop-off, Paulie said Devon recognized Marguerita and immediately started showing her her toys. When the other two children arrived, Devon waited for them at the door, excited to meet her new friends. And laid-back Blake just looked around the whole time and smiled. That news really softened the blow.

This parenting stuff? Not gonna lie. It can sometimes be pretty tough.

Top: Devon; bottom: Blake... both taken at about 1 month old

On my mind this Tuesday morning...

2011-09-06T09:49:00.001-04:00

Squeeeeeak. Squsqusqueeeeeak.
Nothing like the sound of metal on wet train tracks in the morning.
Sure glad I left my iPod running in my bag all night, so that the battery ran out.
I hope my wallet and keys enjoyed the sounds of Adele and Jay-Z.
So I'll sit here, headphones in ears, listening to the squeak and my thoughts.
The caravan of school buses that led me to the station was as slow as oldilocks on her way to the salon.
I wanted to lay on the horn, shout obscenities and wave my hands, but I knew that I'd look crazy, and I like to keep up appearances.
Plus, it won't be long til I'm waving a tearful goodbye on Devon's first day of school.
Then I'll go inside and wonder what kind of friends she'll make, and if she'll be anything like the nightmare I was as a child.
Two full weeks past her due date, my mother felt the contractions creep in.
She labored through the night and delivered me before noon on Labor Day, summer's last hurrah.
A national holiday! This was surely for me. And I became boss of my peers. Nightmare.
But like all the Benders in films by John Hughes, the real girl was somewhere beneath.
And now ten sad souls are standing on the train, unable to find a seat.
Our steely, silver school bus charges swiftly toward the station.
I never rode a bus to school. Our town was just too small.
We walked from home and crossed train tracks with shortcuts through the yards.
The Joneses and the Nonnas and the Russells were the gatekeepers to the grassy, well-worn paths that led to school.
A thousand size-5 footprints trudging through the mud and snow, some with siblings a block in front, or a neighbor, or themselves.
What a different time that was, a town of children walking to school.
I wonder if from up above our town looked like the one in those HBO specials.
Mysterious and twinkly, laying still as we swooped in through the milky way, over the streets and lawns and cars.
I stop to think of the spider's thoughts before I squash it dead, but I squash it still because I'm scared he'll lay eggs in my ear.
We are as small as spiders to the airplanes and the stars.
A miniature Whoville underneath the sun and Mars.
It's time I wrap this up now. I'm talking like a loon.
I hope my Fage yogurt tastes just like a macaroon.

Your turn.

Images by Maren-Celest

A few things I've learned over the last couple weeks

2011-09-02T10:10:00.000-04:00

Did you know that an iPhone can be used as a nightlight when changing a diaper? My resourceful husband sure did. And, boy, did it come in handy this week when we were doin' it up Little House on the Prairie style with no lights.

Another thing I learned this week is that an 80-pound dog can consume one pound of turkey, a half-pound of cheese, and a loaf of sourdough bread in less than 15 seconds. And not get sick. Whew!{B-t-dubs: our pup has also gotten into an entire chocolate cake, a dozen raw eggs, and thirty vitamins in one sitting—and-not-gotten-sick. I wouldn't recommend this with other dogs, of course, but I'm now convinced that Reggie is part elephant.}

And finally, I've always said that I'd love to take extracurricular classes with my children when they're older, so that I can learn new things, too. French lessons, piano, guitar... whatever it is they like {if Mommy is allowed to sit in.} This fall I signed us up for a Music & Movement class and I can't wait to see how it goes. In our first class Devon ignored the teacher, hoarded the instruments, and ran around the room singing her own songs. Maybe not the quietest one in the room, but she marches to the beat of her own drum and I love it.

Have a fun weekend, pun'kins, and a looong one if you're here in the States. It's been fun sharing our summer with you guys, and we are now so so so ready for fall! xo!

On my mind this Thursday morning...

2011-09-01T09:55:00.002-04:00

Anna Begins
My hair is held together today by a wing and a hairsprayed prayer.
Six or seven bobby pins, y teased en el fronto just so.
¡El Bloombito!
It's amazing what goes on everyday, you know?
I was out of power for, what, four days? Yet four days is a hiccup in New Orleans.
I shower at a friend's, eat takeout and it's over.
We laugh at the TV and serve spoiled food to the curb.
Do refugees ever laugh?
And I don't want to be a martyr, really I don't, but I don't know how some things are deemed necessary and others just are not.
If I were Robin Hood, my cape would be felt, with color-blocked neon bright tights.
And when the lights came on yesterday at half past two, blue smoke billowed up to our roof.
Nonna rushed the girls and dogs safely outside, as the living room filled with burnt air.
And in seconds I was up the stairs, grabbing the baby books, the camera, grandma's ring.
Things that hold a thousand wishes and what was.
Maybe ten things total tossed quickly in my car.
But, I knew... I know...
The most important memories are the kind that live in more than just one mind.
You share them, you recall, you smile... and you sink back into your chair.
Look up at the sky and order another drink, or steal a hug from that girl that looks a lot like you.
They're the very best kind—the memories and the hugs.
The way her mouth opened up like a bird the second she was born.
The image of him and that big, brown dog, waiting for me outside work.
The way she stares and burrows into the curve in the back of my neck.
Everyone should have this.
And I have everything.
Except a peanut butter bialy. And a coffee, light and sweet.
Say

Your turn.

Image by Brian W. Ferry

For the babies, for the mama...

2011-08-31T09:00:00.004-04:00

Paulie starts school again next week, which means back-to-school is a big topic of discussion in our house. This time next year I'll be preparing Devon for her first day of preschool. PRE-SCHOOL! The books, the markers and plastic scissors and Elmer's glue... Sneakers with laces and backpacks and a special new lunchbox with stickers inside...

I don't want to rush the inevitable, so for now I'll just ogle these pretty little frocks. A few for my babies—Miss Little and Miss Not-so-little—and two things for mama {who has a birthday this weekend!}, too.

1. Tea Collection Aves Wrap Dress, $35, Amazon
2. Harmonize Bodysuit, $20, Speesees
3. Bon Bon Baby Girls Cotton Overalls, $54.60 {On sale from $78}, Estella
4. Imps & Elfs Baby Cashmere Knit Cardigan, $78.96, Smallable
5. Lizzy Baby Booties, $29, bink & boo
6. Blabla Lion Hat, $32, Amazon
7. Polarn O. Pyret Vineflower Halter Neck Dress, $23.70 {On sale from $39.50}, Amazon
8. Missie Munster Winona Playsuit, $79.95, Stylemilk {Daydream Lily's adorable shop}
9. Meadow Jumper, $28, The Littlest {too big for my girls, but someone needs to buy this!}
10. Amparo A-line Ring Neck Dress, $54.50 {On sale from $68}, Ode
11. Twenty8Twelve Lyric Oversized Knitted Cardigan, $102 {Original price $340}, theOutnet.com
12. Mini Diamond Initial "b" and "d" Necklaces, $465 each, Honeybee
13. Opening Ceremony Bernadette Velvet Sandals, $634, Shopbop

♥ More goodies for the babies and the mama found here.

Lauren Moffatt and Gorman

2011-08-30T13:05:00.003-04:00

Still no power, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to share with you these two stunning collections: Gorman of Australia and the lovely Lauren Moffatt. This isn't a collaboration, but maybe it should be? Love love love all the patterns and colors. {But, no surprise there.}

Top three looks: Gorman via All the Mountains {can you tell I'm mildly obsessed with this site?}; bottom three looks: Lauren Moffatt via Honestly...WTF?

Blame it on Irene.

2011-08-29T16:05:00.002-04:00

Friday's bastardization of "Come on, Eileen" has been replaced with a remix of the Milli Vanilli classic, "Blame It On the Rain." We have no power, internet, hot water, or phones, however a 4-inch river has taken over my basement. And somewhere up north, Irene lip-syncs a cackle.

I'd be annoyed at the situation, but really it's nothing more than an inconvenience. And besides, the flood was inevitable. Two parents, two dogs, two babies... we're like a modern day Noah's Arc around here! Except with no power, so not so modern.

My thoughts are with those who've been affected, but I'm SO so happy that Irene doesn't seem to have harmed as many as had been anticipated. If you need me, I'll be in my car, tweeting, and eating cinnamon Pop-Tarts with the rest of the arc. Talk soon. xo!

Update: Apparently we will not have power until Thursday. THURSDAY. Five whole days without power. You all know what happens on Day 5, right?

Please, send food and beer. And cute galoshes. S#it just got real.

Happy fried-egg

2011-08-26T09:16:00.001-04:00

It's Friday and I'm feeling rather...scrambled. {OK, the egg jokes stop now.} I'm just really shaken up about this hurricane business. In my head I'm all, "Come on, Irene... Oh I swear well he means... at this moment...," which is both psychotic and strange, since I'm substituting Irene for Eileen in song lyrics that are apropos of nothing. But, this is what I do. I get a song in my head and it drowns out the voice saying, "Board up your windows and doors! Buy a generator! Get in your car and drive west, you crazy bitch!" It's also a refreshing change from the other two songs in my head: "This is why I'm fat," a butchered-up version of the MIMS rap that I sing to myself whenever I eat a french fry, and the theme song to Facts of Life.

If you live somewhere that is expected to be hit by a hurricane, there are a few things you can do to prepare. I won't list them out here, but this site is very thorough and Gawker's How To Prepare for a Hurricane will have you peeing your pants, laughing, since everyone could use a little comic relief.

Have a safe and happy weekend, and I'll see you all back here Monday morning {provided the giant tree outside our house doesn't land in our living room}.

kisses!

Image from Maine by J.Courtney Sullivan via A Cup of Jo

Memory of summer

2011-08-25T13:11:00.003-04:00

Summer is winding down and suddenly I'm a little sad. I don't like excessive heat or the humidity of New York, but as soon as September comes into focus, I'm nostalgic for the season of warmth.

When June began, it looked like the start of a slow and lazy season. There were lunches in the park and a trip to Cold Spring, barbeques and book clubs, outdoor dinners in town. But, somehow the extra time that we promise ourselves, it quickly fills up with stuff... a day of cleaning and taking turns at the gym, a doctor's appointment that lasts all morning, an afternoon of errands and occasions... time slipping through fingers like water through a drain.

And yet, in retrospect, time and logic are lost. A walk beneath the flickering shade of maple trees and silver clouds can stretch into a day or three months. Summer 2011 becomes the summer of ice cream and running through grass, chasing a ball... of day trips and antiquing and pointing out trains and boats... it becomes the Summer of Six, with our littlest sharing her laugh and learning to crawl.

And I wonder if one day we'll flip that ratio of what we choose to remember and what actually is. I wonder if we'll tune out the noise and the work while it's actually there, so that those memories are filled with more moments, less blur... more snapshots in our minds... more soaking it all in... less worry and direction, and just letting things be.

Photo #10 taken by my honey

This summer.

2011-08-25T08:15:00.000-04:00

Right now I'm drinking this up and questioning everything...

...my life, my work,
my rods and cones,
my outdoor chairs,
my invisible tattoos.

photos: this summer via all the mountains...

Creature of habit

2011-08-24T09:00:00.000-04:00

When it comes to mealtime, I have to admit, I am a *big* creature of habit. I love trying new foods and seeking out new restaurants {especially sushi}, but during the week, I stick to the same basic menu of six small meals:

Breakfast: Enormous coffee, plus scrambled eggs or a scooped-out bagel with peanut butter

Snack: Banana

Lunch: Salad with artichoke hearts, kidney beans, beets, cucumbers, avocado, grilled chicken, walnuts, cranberries, and balsamic vinaigrette {I could *live* on salad}

Snack: Fuji or Gala or Honeycrisp apple {I really shake things up with my apples}

Dinner: Cucumber/tomato salad, plus tilapia or chicken or whole wheat pasta; occasionally quinoa with veggies

Snack: Dried prunes or scoop of peanut butter

It's simple—maybe even boring—but I'm still hanging onto some very stubborn baby weight, so structure is what works for me. What about you? Are you a creature of habit or do you switch things up at mealtime? Are you picky or do you like to try new foods?

+ Feeding a fickle child and kitchens: a love story

★

Photo #5 by Bentley Waters

6 months

2011-08-23T09:00:00.007-04:00

This post would be more appropriately titled Six Months and Twenty-Two Months, but really it's about the length of time these girls have been sisters. So many "Hiii-eeeee" greetings an inch from Blake's face, so many pokes and laughs. The growth chart of my daughters' lives could measure oldest, youngest, and the relationship of the two.

Every day Mommy and Devon put on dance shows for baby Blake. Devon is, in that way, most definitely my daughter. We read together and practice sharing, Devon alternating between generous and a grade-A hoarder. And there are the other kinds of sister moments, too, like the yanking of Blake's limbs in ways that don't seem human, the need to pull at her baby eyelashes, the urge to place a single raisin in her mouth and another in her diaper. But, Blake, she just keeps doing her thing. "Clagrrrlaaaaah!"-ing and belly laughing and body surfing on the rug, reaching for her mobile and her feet, happy just to sit back and take it all in. And, in that way, Blake is most definitely my daughter, too.

The dynamic of oldest and youngest, of extrovert and understudy, unconditional love and adoration, they are gifts to see unfold. But these roles, they will flip-flop, and I will not label or decide who should be who. There is a lifetime ahead for learning who they are and deciding where they'll settle... into themselves and into each other as sisters. Paulie and I, we're just lucky to be along for the ride.

P.S. A look back at four months and two-and-a-half months and nine weeks and three weeks, too!

Clothing credits, top to bottom: Run DMC onesie from Target; Devon's pajamas from Carters; Blake's floral onesie from Baby Gap; Devon's red dress by Calypso for Target; Blake's pink/white striped onesie by a local shop here (unknown designer); Devon's green/white dress and Blake's white/purple dress from Baby Gap

On my mind this Monday morning...

2011-08-22T09:17:00.004-04:00

Life is filled with yins and yangs.
For example, I just missed my train because the jerkface in front of me couldn't figure out the muni-meter.
I felt stabby as I watched my train pull away, but quickly recovered when I spotted a cute cafe I'd never seen before inside the waiting room.
I was twitchy again when I saw the cash-only sign.
But the owner, with his Daddy Warbucks head and big, toothy grin, said I could pay him tomorrow for my hot cup of joe.
And so, just like that, my Monday's back on track.
And now I sit, beside those tracks, the high-pitched tea kettle of the next train approaching.
It's like Rosie said on Beautiful Girls: "God was fair. He gave the fatties big, beautiful boobs and the skinnies little, tiny niddlers."
I'm paraphrasing, but you get the gist.
And then...? And then.
I was about to judge the farty kid who sat down next to me and began talking to his friend about his parents getting him an internship and spending his weekend "out east." "At the beach."
These phrases are code for "the Hamptons" around here.
I was about to judge him—correction—I totally did.
Which is crappy because I'm just jealous that I don't have a house at the beach.
Or an internship with no responsibilities other than fetching coffee and looking cute.
And just as I was putting on my headphones to drown out his voice, I heard the kicker.
His parents, they're old. Really old, in fact.
So, they're retired at the beach and he visits them on weekends.
And suddenly his smug expression looks kind of goofy and sweet.
There's a glimpse of pink flushing over his cheeks, when really it should flush over mine.
Cause who am I to judge someone else? We've all got struggles. Even if some are buried deeper than others.
Yin and yang.
And the ones who hurt the very most are the ones who will feel the most happiness.
Somehow. One day. Just like Rosie said.
And I now owe a complete stranger a smile.
Calgary

Your turn.

Kiss: Unusually Fine via Bippity Boppity Boo

Personality traits.

2011-08-19T10:10:00.001-04:00

Have you ever seen a photograph of someone's space and felt like you were looking right at that person? The moment I saw this pool filled with dozens of Devon's toys, I laughed because it is so her. Forever organizing and compiling and moving things from one location to another. Always busy. Never a dull moment. This is Devon.

It made me wonder... is there a spot in your home or a belonging that encapsulates you? For me, it would be my bookshelves. Color-coordinated {I'm definitely a Virgo}, with tons of photographs, souvenirs from traveling, and my portfolio of work.

Well, pretties, I'm off to enjoy the weekend with my family, but first...

1. The sweetest little girl's skirt.
2. Suede slingbacks for fall.
3. My friend Jo is hosting a very BIG giveaway!

Have a great weekend!

the lil bee

Goodbye

Sunshine on a cloudy day

For anyone who's ever shopped at Tar-jay*

How to bridge the Mommy/Lifestyle/Design Blogger gap

I'm back from Alt!

On my mind this Monday morning...

On stage.

I'm live blogging from 30,000 feet, y'all!*

What to feed picky eaters, part 2

11 months

Winter with littles

Warm and toasty thoughts

Working girl.

Aunt Abby comes to town

Spirit of giving

Adventure 2012

Happy holidays!

Smiley faces.

Just be.

kelly + olive giveaway

The thing that keeps me going.

On my mind this Monday morning...

Babies running rampant

New York state of mind

GIFT GUIDE: For her...

MY toy.

GIFT GUIDE: For your love...

How to get your children to listen to you

Thanksgiving and five years

GIFT GUIDE: For the kiddos...

Lennon's list

On my mind this Monday morning...

The real Thanksgiving

On my mind this Tuesday morning...

Cranberry sauce and stuffing

Nap time + etc.

10 things about me...

Sleepaway camp + a *Craftivore* giveaway!

Back that a$$ up {also, your hard drive}

On my mind this Monday morning...

Two {night}

Fall favorites

Two {day}

Little pockets of goodness

November giveaway!

Top 10 Most Watched Films of All Time*

PS: You're the one

InPink Giveaway

Lust for light.

Hallowinning

For the babies, for the mama...

Best friends

JewelMint Giveaway!

Weekend favorites

On my mind this Monday morning...

In photographs and dreams

My favorite holidays*

Nicknames

Sisters.

On my mind this Monday morning...

Dear Devon,

A different perspective

Can we talk about...

Fall wardrobe 110*

On my mind this Monday morning...

Little updates

On being you.

Stone Barns Harvest Fest, part 2

Stone Barns Harvest Fest, part 1

On my mind this Monday morning...

Under water

er

On my mind this Tuesday morning...

Silly time.

Little explorers

Kitchen traditions

A happy {birth}day.

Girrrrl talk

Milk + Bookies

Sleepaway camp + a Craftivore giveaway!